Happy New Year To Everyone
Saturday, January 2, 2021
3:34 PM
The year 2020 is FINALLY gone and over with! And I know we can all agree that we’re glad to come and see that year gone, over and done with. We all feel the same about the year 2020 it has been the worst year that anyone of us has ever known in our lives and it’s one year that way is a whole never want to see again.
In order for any one of us to see a year like the year 2020 again, there has to be change. Because simply put doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same results is literally insanity. I feel like it’s not right with that said I believe this is going to be the year of the looking into our own selves more deeper to see what needs to be changed so that we don’t experience anything near like last year.
I know for myself reflecting back and looking at everything so that I can do my own changes has been really important to me. In my case though, in order for me to implement the changes that I see and make things different than last year, and quite honestly the last four years I need to be able to find a way to bringing understanding but everybody so that these changes really can be accomplished and succeeded. Honestly speaking I took off the first of December I left didn’t let anybody know and I didn’t come back until January 2nd last night. I was gone exactly a month. Throughout that month I was able to start my healing process I was able to start to see things differently to recognize things and to have a different perspective and bring a better understanding within myself. So I’m going to express and go over some of these things with everyone.
There’s has been three and a half years worth of a tug of war a battle of wheels literally between me and the customer side of things. There has been a lot of unnecessary bitter feelings between me and the customer side of things. There has been misunderstandings as well as hurts that should never been there in the first place between me with everyone. I put a lot of thought into how to approach this correctly. Eggs Ben almost to last 4 years that I have actually tried to be able to explain to everyone and I have never been able to get it across until here recently, actually today. So I am choosing my words carefully and doing this vlog with all sincerity with all hard feelings put aside and I’m really trying to bring all of this together in a more positive way that could enrich all of our lives in very positive ways.
I feel but betterness and this tug of war it comes from well from y’all side of things the feelings of having to pay for something that should be intimate is an automatic….how do I want to say this….. Okay the best way I know how to express this is, there is a transformation that takes place in a man but that demand has no idea that happens when demand steps foor into this world. And it’s something that unless you’re on this side of things on my side I provide her side that can won’t be understood can’t be able to explain so that others can grasp and have the ability to do understand this. But it’s natural it happens when a man is talking to a woman there’s respect there’s no idea that she works once that man realizes that the woman he’s speaking with actually works in this industry he goes from instant respect to disrespect to hey a type of loathing and even down right hatred in some. Ace instantaneous I never realizing at all just transformation that actually takes place it’s picked up in the in a person’s eyes. But then less than a half a second flat the eyes change from a glow that is like a dancing and excited you know to the pupils getting smaller and narrowing down and the eyebrows coming together and the crinkle in the forehead and of course the groves and continues to build I guess and the expect take place the more the man feels justifiable in mistreating because he doesn’t see where it’s justifiable to have to pay for the services.
I see exactly where you’re coming from I understand exactly where you’re coming from and I can see that by looking at this and this perspective I can see where it would build up and where these feelings that come up I can I can see why and how I understand it I do honestly grasp this. And in looking at things in this perspective no I don’t blame you.
But again the year 2021 is about bringing change so that do you before doesn’t happen again. So, I want to share my end in the perspective from me I can’t speak for any other provider or anybody else I know me I know how I am and I know that this is about for me so I’m only speaking about me this may not be every provider it may not be any provider but it is THIS PROVIDERS PROSPECTIVE, ok.
Because and the way the customer side in general feels and is not aware of this actual transformation that really does happen. That woman is not saying as a woman anymore and seen as an object and because of payment the feelings of entitlement come into play and which is where the lack of respect comes in and so forth.
When it comes to me Michelle, as a provider… As MsRogue… As the person. From the get go I’ve expressed who I am and what I’m really about, what’s important to me what isn’t that big of a deal to me, what I value in life and in others, as well as what I stand firm on.
I’m VERY old school. And in these days not many rolling gnomes what I mean by saying that I’m old school so to explain to help others really understand what I mean. Everybody lives by a code, may not realize it but whatever code want to put it in another way standard that a person lives by is turns out to be that codes whether it’s stealing or being honest or family or whatever it is that’s a code that is you live by. My code I live by is HONOR. Everything else fall asleep after the word honor or dishonor,either way.
Under that code of Honor comes: respect, dignity, taking consideration into other’s, kindness, treating others the way you want them to treat you. It also means to do right no matter what you do.. kind of like another words an ethical dope dealer or an ethical heaux… Or whatever it is no matter what you do in life do right by it, don’t do people wrong. I left the most important thing for last; WORD!
ALL WE HAVE IN LIFE IS OUR WORD, THAT’S IT!
“A MAN IS ONLY GOOD AS HIS WORD!”
That is the most valuable thing to honor, is our word.
This is exactly why I speak by definition. Na exactly why I say what I mean and I mean exactly what I say. It’s also the reason why I speak very literally. This means that I choose my words very carefully and very wisely but if I’m not sure on that words definition I’m going to look it up to make sure I’m saying the correction that I’m wanting to try to convey or or get across or to try to express. The ugliness I have always had a hard time expressing myself a lot of times things come out wrong that I really don’t mean to happen. this is exactly why I found that I’m able to express myself better by writing.
Once I give my work to someone you can make them unless just situation percents itself that I have no control over to break apartments or that just nothing I can really do about it but no matter what happens I try my best to be right about it I will just try to make up and make right in some kind of way. I at least put forth an effort to try to make right. no I know there’s a couple of you out there that might be reading this that goes like you disagree with this statement and I’m going to State this there’s a key of you that I still need to get with to make right that my situation in the last four months has not allowed me or I’m actually this whole last past year that has not allowed me to be able to did the things that I stated that I was going to do, and you think you’ve been forgotten. that is not the case I promise you! I know there’s somebody from December of the year before I still owe pictures too I’m getting to that soon like Wilson so and because of being so patient and waiting I make sure that it may not easy professional for whatever but I do try to give extra when I can you get to the ability of making right.
These things things missions there might everything but what Michelle is built out of. These things cannot be changed they cannot be swayed they cannot be anything these things are my everything that there’s no negotiations there is no working and compromise that there’s no nothing this is it.
Approaching me and dishonorable or disrespectful mannerisms ain’t going to do anybody no good. It is so definitely the wrong approach when it comes to me. And when I look at things the very core of this battle we’ve been having promise for years between the customer side and me as a provider has simply been about ONE WORD!
RESPECT!
To go even further with this::we all have to pay bills, we all have to eat, we all have to have closthes on our backs, we all have to have a roof over our heads. Simply put we all as human beings have to do certain things in order to continue living in breathing air these things are not negotiable at all for humans. And I mean while those of us that are exhibitionists and nudistbo not feel closed on our backs or need LOL we do have to have them to go out in public. This is essential for all of us. The bills don’t stop they don’t go away they have to be paid or we don’t survive.
The stubborn, strong willed, hard-headed, bull-headed determined little person that I am, would rather go without taking my punishment take whatever is supposed to be coming to me or whatever it may be before I give in and negotiate these things that literally make out to be the very core of me. And I believe that I have fully shown this to be true I have gone hungry 6 days straight I have gone homeless I’ve gone whatever because that’s what I stood for and that’s what I believed in and that was going to be it there was no choice in my eyes because that isn’t a choice to me.
So here we stood, in our differences. On the customer end of things, that happens to be predominantly men putting the emphasis on the dollar sign feeling like it was about money that turned into feeling bitter, that turns into losing respect, bunch of questions turns into automatically not caring not giving shit not hearing anything I say cuz it’s not important it turns into a whole lot of things. The bitterness turns into an automatic hatred.
And in turn, on my side of things. RESPECT IS EVERYTHING TO ME, DISRESPECT GETS YOU ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE WITH ME AND KINDNESS WILL GET YOU VERY FAR WITH ME. HONESTY, BEING TRUE TO YOUR WORD IS EVERYTHING TO ME BECAUSE IT SHOWS RESPECT AS WELL AS CHARACTER.
This has been exactly where all of our differences lied between me and all of you.
Now here’s what I want to State the obvious that may not be so obvious. the emphasis that has been put on the dollar sign and money and making it about money and thinking that it’s about money when it comes to Michelle to MsRogue to me, HAS NEVER BEEN ABOUT MONEY FOR ME.
Again stating the obvious stuff may not be so obvious, without realizing the significance of it all. Because so many really believed that this baby case that money be important to me, I’m not sure how to really say it but to be blunt about it money I haven’t made any money has been taken everything was taken because of the business and here we still stand.
Now I want all of you to be aware of and to know this about me. I don’t mind doing anything for anybody if I could possibly do it for you I don’t mind putting in the extra work if somebody wants something within reason and it would bring a happiness to a person I don’t mind going out of my way I don’t mind giving the shirt off my back, I’m just that kind of person.
Friendship, values all these good things they are the most important thing to me it’s not the money. But also on the flip side of that coin, survival it takes money to survive. And simply put looking at it and understanding the realness of it that the feelings that you’ve had of it being about money is so not the case that in reality it’s literally just important enough so that I can be able to survive that’s it I’m not really hungry I’m not a monetary or I’m not a material kind of person. But yes of course survival being able to eat to stay alive being able to have a roof over my head too have a man be able to sleep in a bed yes those things of course are very important to me. As just like everybody else.
The simple fact of the matter is I don’t mind doing anything that I can possibly do but at the same time I only bring in my own money is SSI money, anything beyond that I can’t do it on my own it’s just not possible. And if you wanted something and I don’t mind doing it but we need to work together in order for everybody as a whole in order for all artiess involved to benefit any positive way and that doesn’t make either side Bill taking advantage of. At one point during the year last year the bills that I had acquired trying to do and make happy and try and team please everybody was at in the middle of 3500 to 4000 a month. I’m not kidding you none. That is Hollywood star movie money in My eyes when you compare it to malt liquor affordability of what I really bring in on my own. I had never in my life had bills not even close like that. If you’re willing to help with these finances I don’t mind giving it to you or trying my best to within my own abilities. But I can’t do all this on my own it’s not possible.
Understanding got the bills have to get paid get that over and done there you know that part of it do you none of you really realize that we are all cheating ourselves out and missing out on great friendships there’s been a few her lately I have allowed a little bit brother into do I really am and they’re coming to realize that outside of the job world I’m going to they can see different person because I’m seen in different light from a different perspective and once that is seen it always happens you’re pretty cool person is but I’m always told.
Understanding that there has to be boundaries so things don’t get misconstrued misunderstood or things don’t get blurry I’m feeling taking advantage of or of these things that we having.
I fully wholeheartedly believe the differences of these things is what has been exactly the cause of this situation. It has never been my intent to cause harm in anyway to anybody. My only intent has always been to try to help others in whatever way I can and to be able to leave a positive mark on those lives that I actually come across. But the only other intent of just simply nothing else but just being able to survive. This unnecessary bitterness this battle of wills in order for last year not to happen in order for dare to be changed we both need to really be able to understand the other side of things be compassionate as well as considerate towards the opposite side. It is my hope and only intent that by going over these things with all sincerity that I can help y’all side of things light of rest things that just is not me that that this can be the beginning of bringing on change, so that means can all really have a better year this year than we did last year.
I am a very forgiving person,I really am. And those of you who feel like I have turned you down undestably or whatever however you may feel. I’m going to give you this little hint… When a person finally is able to grasp something they didn’t understand or was hard for them to understand it’s going to naturally be shown the difference in the behavior and attitude once I see that and I pick up on that I don’t mind seeing you. But until it is shown to me that you understand the level of respect between two human beings and that you understand what I’m really doing here in this job I won’t see anybody that doesn’t show me that. It’s about quality it’s not about quantity I have you can’t if this basic concept of coming together in trading each other right and just understanding the this is where we’re at and we have our own reasons for why we are actually here and respecting each other’s reasonings then at that point I see it as you haven’t fully been able to understand who I really am. I am a very picky person and that way for good reason I won’t just allow anybody near me I won’t just give my heart and my feelings and everything that I put into this for each and every person and every time just to anybody it’s not special then. So putting in a little effort you know nine times out of 10 a lot of the times if I really had the time I don’t mind sitting here I’m just enjoying conversation afterwards but understanding that I have to survive in the bills have to get paid instead of looking at it as it’s all about money there is so much we can all have together as friends within our own memes and that’s honestly what I’ve been wanting and trying to do this whole time.
So change… In order to bring better there has to be change the changes that will be implementing all for these reasons and I’m just going to I guess allow all of you your own choices. And from that I believe will we goes out better sincere and those that aren’t so sincere will show themselves by their own measures and I believe that’s where I stand for this.
Understanding the importance of communication is key to everything working together is the key to everything and that we all have to them give something for it to be able to work it also allows for all of us to feel valued and doesn’t need one person or the other two people taking advantage of I’m trying my best this is my only intent so this year change is the subject and being better than the then what I was the day before is the subject having a better year all the way around yes is my full intent
Wishing each and every one a very wonderful New Year in 2021 with many blessings for you and your families and your loved ones. Wishing for good health and wealth in all ways for all in 2021.
Targeted: The New Modern Day Slavery 