Journal Entry Sunday December 13th, 2020: You Offered Safety

Sunday, December 13, 2020
11:59 PM

You offered safety.. a safe place to come to…..a FRIEND WAS OFFERING A SAFE PLACE TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO STRAIGHTEN UP ALL THE SHIT WITHIN MY LIFE FROM OTHERS TAKING OVER MY LIFE BECAUSE THE FELT ENTITLED TO DO WHATEVER IN MY LIFE FUCKING IT UP.

Its not like i didn’t talk with you about what i had to do. I stated about being raped and the forced compliance of using dick as a weapon to forcevto comply or i paid the price going hungry and homeless… I stated i would pay rent on the first when i got my check. You accepted that.

Apparently you choose to hear only what YOU WANTED TO HEAR in your own mind. .. A woman that will instantly give servitude and free rain on pussy.

I just spent my check going 2 states just to be in tge exact same situation i left from.

The other night… You think i enjoyed having to like raping my own fucking self… After the same 4 years just left to go right back into. Just because you can see the scars don’t mean sjut


And now your telling me i owe you my body for your offering me safety while punishing holding me back because think i owe you my body… Essentially telling me i have no choice over my body. Telling me you don’t want my money. You won’t even take money that’s from the government nit work Money.

Heres the kicker that really the really fucked my ass up the other night…

You had me bow down to had me to cower down to give you further driving home into me the same exact humilating disgracing feeling shame i just left from

Apparently in your i owe you my bidy in return if your offering me a safe zone that us not safe.

What ths fuck is safe about being told i had to make myself like it

TELLING ME THE SANE EXACT THINGS I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO DO ABD ENJOY ALLOWING MYSELF THAT KIND OF FUCKED OFF MENTAL FUCKING SHIT. WHATS FUCKIN DIFFERENT … FRIEND

ILL LEAVE ON THE 2ND..

THE FACT THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE A WEAKNESS WITH YOUR INTERNET THEREFORE FURTHER DRIVING MENTALLY THAT I HACE WILLFULLY COMPLY TO WITH … ONLY PAYING IN SEXUAL FAVORS IN RETURN OF MY HEAD AND FOOD IN BELLY. .

FURTHER SURE YOU LET JE KNOW I KNOW MY FUCKING PLACE AS A WHORE THAT IS NOTHING MORE TO BE FUCKING BE DISGRACED

MAKING ME WILLFULLY ALLOW YOU OWNERSHIP MY BODY WITH NOT ALLOWING ME TO SAY BY PUNISHING ME IS RAPE

I WILL LEAVE ON THE 2ND WHEN I PAID MY TICKET OUT OF HERE

BUT I REFUSE TO ALLOW MYSELF WHAT I FELT THE OTHER NIGHT!


I CAME HERE TO REGAIN MY STRENGTH FROM BEING BEAT DOWN IN THIS EXACT SAME FUCKING MANNER…. YOU CONSIDER THIS SAFETY…

THIS IA IS WHY I GAVE OF WHAT I NEEDED TO DO TO STRAIGHTEN UP WHAT MEN FUCKED UP IN MY LIFE

I GOT PUNISHING TGE SAME IF TGE FUCKERS JUST DECIDED

I HAVE PUT UP WITH WAY MORE THAN SHARE IF MEN DISGRACING IN THESES WAYS.

WHICH IS WHY I SPECIFICALLY STATED I WILL PAY RENT BY MONEY ON THE FIRST JUST SO I DIDN’T G9 THROUGH THUS SAME SHIT

FIR YOU TO TELL ME YOU WON’T TAKE MT MONEY TELLING ME I HAVE TO PAY YOU BY MY BODY


OR PAY THE CONSEQUENCES HUH… FURTHER MAKING SURE I KNOW IM NOTHING TO YOU BUT A FUCKING WHORE TO DISGRACE.


AND THIS I’M SUPPOSED TO ENJOY HUH. ILL LEAVE ON THE SECOND!

I came FUCKING here TO NOT BE THE WHORE THAT YOUR FORCING ME TO BE. NO THANKS

I came here to get out of it NOT stay in it!
.
I have a choice with my body without being made to pay one way or the fucking other.


I will sleep on the fucking porch with the rest of the animals.

Before i ever fucking allow another mother fucker to disgrace me and Shame me in those same exact disgusting vile ways again.

IM FUCKING USED TO BEING TREATED WORSE THAN QN ANIMAL I DON’T HAVE PROBLEM BEING ON THE PORCH IM TOLD MY FUCKING PLACE IS IF I DON’T COMPLY



YOU NEVER CARED TO FUCKING NOTICE I CAN’T EVEN LOOK YOU IN THE EYE NOW ALL I SEE IS THE SAME MONSTERS and you think i enjoyed the other night

Yea THINK i totally enjoyed having to MAKE MYSELF BE COMFORTABLE WITH ONLY HAVING TWO CHOICEE…. BETWEEN BEING OUTSIDE HOMELESS AND WILLFULLY KNEELING DOWN TO RAPE MY OWN SELF.. STEALING WHAT FUN AWAY FROM ME BY NOT BEING PATIENT LIKE I SAID I NEEDED. NOT EVEN 2 DAYS IS PATIENT???;I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE HORROR I WAS HEARING OUT OF WHAT I THOUGHT TO BE A…. FRIEND ALL THESE YEARS

WHO THE FUCK NEEDS ENEMIES WITH FRIENDS LIKE THIS

I dealt with this FROM fucking STRANGERS … NOT MY FRIENDS.. FURTHER MORE DISGRACING THE FUCK OUT ME

I fucking to fucking have a SUPPOSED FRIEND WHO OFFERED FORCE ME BY SEXUAL FAVORS TO BARTER AND BE PAID BY TRADE FOR FOOD AND SHELTER… AND i hate to break it to you.. BY LAW THAT’S TRAFFICKING

REALITY… At least there i could at least be ABLE TO CHOOSE THE LESSER OF ALL THE EVIL

TO NOT ALLOW BOUNDARIES IN MY OWN PERSONAL BODY SPACE BECAUSE I OCCUPY YOUR HOME

THAT’S VA SERPENT … NOT A FRIEND.. A FRIEND WOULD NOT TELL SUCH VILE EVILISH BULLSHIT

GET ME OUT IN THE COUNTRY 30 MILES AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION AND TELL ME TO PUT OUT OR GET THE FUCK OUT!!!