Journal Entry Thursday February 4, 2021

Thursday, February 4, 2021
11:00 PM

Ohh but so many of you have a guilty conscience and caring a heavy heart. You have shown me time and time again you continue to grow restless as i have quietened my inner self. That’s exactly when you come with all that noise you bring to me!!!

You’ve sent clear Messages trying to keep me rattled up in fake fear. I see the tables are now turned. As I sent a letter tonight, ONE MORE TIME LISTENING TO THE ADVICE HE GAVE TO ME, PUTTING THE SHAME AND BLAME EXACTLY WHERE IT RIGHTLY GOES…. An email from someone that’s already in my contacts list.

Even as i stated in my reply back to “are you available.” One more time telling on yourselves again. ALWAYS HAVING TO BE NOSY, ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS… JUST TO SEE WHERE I’M AT AND WHAT I’M UP TO.

Yessssss I KNOW MY SILENCE IS SO EARTH SHATTERING UNWELCOMING FOR YOU!!!!

Ya know i USED TO BE EXACTLY LIKE ALL OF YOU! I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO ALWAYS CARRY A HEAVY HEART THAT GOES ALONG WITH A GUILTY CONSCIENCE. I LEARNED THOUGH, IT’S NOT WORTH ANY OF IT IN THE END.

SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY TIME I BECOME RESTLESS WITHIN MY SOUL IS WHEN I HAVE THE INFLUENCE OF OTHERS MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY OF THEIR OWN SHAME. JUST LIKE TONIGHT ONCE I LET IT GO AND DID NOT OWN WHAT’S NOT MINE TO OWN, MY PEACE SETTLES BACK IN AGAIN.

You grow restless because im now the unpredictable one.

I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, AS YOU HAVE TAKEN ALL FROM ME, AS YOU HAVE MADE ME PAY FOR THE GOD AWFUL VILE DIRTY DEEDS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME.

I REFUSE TO OWN NOR FEEL THE SHAME THAT IS YOURS TO FEEL!!! GOD WILL NOT BE BRINGING UP YOUR ACCOUNTABLY WHEN ISTAND BEFORE HIM, WHEN ITS MY TIME TO BE JUDGED… BY GOD AND ONLY GOD…

STAND IN YOUR SHADOWS KEEPING TABS ON ME. I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE NOR DO I EVEN CARE. YOU ARE NOT WORTH ALL THAT NEGATIVE TIME AND ENERGY WORRYING ABOUT ALL OF YOU… AS YOU’VE SPENT WORRYING ABOUT ME!!!!!
😁 YOU’RE JIG IS NOW UP…. I KNOW THE WHOLE GAME LAND SEE WITH GREAT CLAIRTY AND SEE STRAIGHT THROUGH ALL OF THIS NO NON SENSE BULLSHIT YOU CONTINUE TO TRY TO BRING TO ME…

HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE WHILE YOU WORRY IN YOUR BOOTS..

“ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO”

HAD YOU ALL HAVE BEEN PRACTICING THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE YOU WOULDN’T be all up in my ass being nosy worrying about the Joneses now would you???!!!!