Saturday November 14th, 2020

Saturday, November 14, 2020
6:23 PM

I don’t know how to start this nor do I know where to begin, as the damage is more than long done. Many of you have befriended me, been my lovers and I’ve even fell in love with those that felt different, thought different, had your opinions and had ulterior motives. Quite a number of those from day one actually. Well coming to the realizations that I have I’m not surprised with some, and very surprised at others, and very hurt but the rest. I’ve looked up to quite a number of you valued you and felt very highly about you, well in turn not the same about me.

The amount of years that’s gone by the amount of shaming, flaming, defacing that has been done ultimately stripping away my pride, dehumanizing and desensitizing me. Among all the other things that’s been done.

Those of you who feel hatred and whatever about me I’m not here to change your opinions they’re your opinions. When I’m here to state is whatever names you call me whatever you feel about me…. Very honestly my heart has always been in the right place whatever you feel that I may have done or didn’t do whatever it may be I never realized it.

I literally tried my best to give what was expected wanted and desired within my best capabilities and means. There’s been so much expectations pressure and stress physically mentally emotionally as well as legally and things that I cannot possibly give to you. I have gone up and above beyond my way to give all of you as much security as I could paying the extra money to do so. Every time I have tried I’ve been shot down every time I tried to give more, more was taken.

Well I never even expected to be doing what I’ve been doing and never for this amount of time. I’ve invested my whole self my whole being and everything into this to try to give to try to make happy to try to satisfy, to everyone’s content, too many of you I have failed in this sense.

I’ve invested more than 10 grand into that website that’s a big down payment on house I could have had. There’s so many legalities that prevent me from actually doing the things that you expect from me or want me or think that I can possibly do. I’ve done what I can do within the legalities as well as my abilities.

I’m sorry that I have disappointed many of you. I am sure you it’s never been intentional. I’m sorry that some of you feel like I have meant to go out and corn any of you in any kind of way, yet again I will say it’s never been intentional.

The only things that I’ve wanted very honestly is to be treated with dignity and respect and common courtesy and literally not to be hurt anymore. And well I never understand I probably never will understand I wish to God many of you would have came to me and just talk to me. Giving me that chance to explain yourself to me so I can better understand and correct whatever wrongdoings I was doing at that time that you felt that I was doing, instead of going out of your way to trick me with different names and numbers and whatever else we’re not going there it’s neither here nor there at this point.

And well I wish to God those of you who feel these ways wouldve just let it all go. I intend on doing that same thing, now that I’m aware and that I know. that means I can protect myself better and that’s all I ever wanted was to be safe and not be harmed.

To anyone that’s reading this that does not know the situation that’s fine and dandy, just know that when I asked for your ID and I ask who you are and I may be a little suspicious it’s only because of the things that I have experienced throughout these right at 4 years now. I don’t mean no harm I don’t mean no disrespect and I don’t mean no kind of ill wishes on anyone. Because I only want to be safe as well as keep you safe.

I so much in mind that I have always wanted to do for all of you because no matter what I always think about different things that we make the public happy and I’ve tried to do a lot of them as well as I still haven’t done so much that I want to do for y’all. So many cool ideas that I wish I could get out there and start to do for everybody.

I don’t like these labels I don’t like the expectations that comes with these labels. I never promised You a fantasy or Rose garden what a promise was real that I was going to be me and then I would give you the best to my ability. That wasn’t THE best, just my best. I should have reserved a lot for my own self but I gave and I gave and again I’ve gave my heart my most intimate thoughts and feelings life I gave it all. I’ve tried my best.

So with this I will leave and let it be said for whomever seems to want to give me a chance I’m around love that I’m very cautious skittish and scared. but I’m always willing to try to give more.q

I just asked for the same dignity and respect common courtesy and security that I give to everyone of you. I asked for my things not to be messed with and I ask you not to lie. If you don’t like me or hate me then just please stay on your side and I’ll do the same. Please don’t be friend me and act like you’re caring for me when in all actuality you are my enemy.

Much love to all no matter who you are or how you feel or what’s been done
MsRogue