Getting Into the Mind of the Attacker: My History

In order to figure out how they did these identities as well as make sense to everything that I have on this website, You MUST first be able to get into the mind of your attacker!

In order to get into the mind of your attacker you have to learn your attacker. That means studying your attacker…. AS MUCH AS THEY HAVE STUDIED YOU!!!

In order to learn your attacker YOU MUST FIRST BECOME YOUR ATTACKER!!!!

Even though I have shared how I came about all this for my You Tube segments “Getting Into The Mind Of Your Attacker” I’ll explain here as well to fill in the gaps between the videos and the pages.

https://youtu.be/SHsGx1zf1SA

I unfortunately had already had to do this before when it came to getting into the mind of your attackers when it came to my youngest son. I had to sit down with him when he was 11 years old and explained to him about the Menendez brothers and how serial killers usually will start with their parents. Needless to say it’s not the easiest thing to ever do to talk to your child like this but it’s something I felt that was urgent enough to need to be done as well as at one point I had taken all the knives and any sharp objects out of my apartment. I was THAT afraid. I even had told him at one point that I knew how he was going to kill me, that he would take the cowardly way out and kill me in my sleep. I had already changed my bedroom door to a locking door that he went through while sleeping. The first time I woke up to him standing staring at me at the foot of my bed when I knew I had to lock the door creepily staring at me I’m going to feel like I could feel him trying to figure it all out, how it was going to be done. The second time, I SHOT UP 3:00 in the morning screaming his name screaming out for where you are. He had crawled out my bedroom window and was sitting on the roof because it was a townhouse apartment. I was sitting outside on the roof by himself and he hollers back “I’m in the kitchen mom.” I could hear him, like he was in my ear. I knew he was right out my window. And at that time I was living on $300 a month plus food stamps income AND TRYING TO RAISE HIM. I had just gotten a pair of rabbit ears for the TV in my room. Which I had kept right outside my window to get better reception. That meant that I left the window with a very small crack so that it wouldn’t cut through the cord to the antenna. So, it was easy to open my bedroom window without REALLY being heard at that time.

Two months before he turned 13, I got woken up from a nap RIGHT AFTER school by CPS and the cops telling me they were taking him. Now I’ll never know the truth about how it all went down. It was later on that I started finding all of his stuff packed… Under the couch cushions etc. In little bitty spots that it was like him to stick things in and hide. I can remember sitting on my living room floor finding that stuff in my couch, crying… Wondering why he kept me alive. With a chill down my back I thought to myself, “so he wouldn’t get in trouble and go to jail. He kept me alive to torture me.” It’s the perfect crime. NOW…. whether my son is involved or not, I still cannot tell you. There are several details in this situation that lead me to believe YES. The way some situations have a “childish” tone to it or thought process, rather shows that some of this is NOT well thought out, like in child’s mentality and also some details and the way of the torment with those specific details also make me wonder quite a lot. BUT THEN ALSO, you have to take into consideration that my blogs from before have been exploited and played on to great lengths by many others. There are so many involved but to say the least its very possible. Either way IT’S STILL THE PERFECT MURDER whether he is involved or not… It doesn’t matter. For those that are involved, IT TRULY IS THE PERFECT MURDER!!!…..

Two years ago on the news, there had been an 18 year male that had been arrested for Captial Murder for murdering his mother. The first time that he had been questioned, he was able to get away with it. After the second time he was questioned is when he was picked up and arrested. I couldn’t do anything but sit there and cry Thanking God that I was still alive. As I could have just as easily NOT made it through with my life. 

(I have to admit dictating these details is still very hard for me. Because that’s just about 7 years ago. today he turned 20 (November 21, 2021). So unfortunately I I’m already aware that in order to figure out what was going on with me I had to literally one more time in my life become my attacker and keep a steady balance between being the actual victim, becoming my attacker and still holding steady with the societies standards. Very carefully treading, not to mention becoming a P.I., a cop…all the law authorities. I had to become better than them because I AM A WOMAN! I am automatically discredited, disregarded, thought of as “crazy” and therefore NOT HEARD….JUST BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN!!! As if being a woman isn’t bad enough, on top of that anyone that realized that I was a sex worker…even though I am actually a trafficking victim. I found that even when I state I am A VICTIM OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING….I AM STILL SEEN AS A “WHORE!” So, I had to become better at all of their jobs because THEY WOULDN’T DO THEIR JOBS!) 

It was through me speaker up AND out about these experiences that my attackers have EXPLOITED the fear factor when it comes to my youngest son throughout this ordeal. Just a few months after moving to San Antonio my experience as a parent raising a “toxic” child at that point has been exploited and continually exploited for 5 years now. 

So, I believe it’s time for us to get into the mind of the attacker(s) by breaking things down and explaining. Just an FYI, I still have “my” times of breaking down with going through all these details, just saying that I AM HUMAn, and it DOES take EVERYTHING out of me putting all this together. I just ask for understanding.