Abandonment and trauma are at the core of programming. Abandonment causes deep shame and fear that it will occur again. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic. What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the trauma wound is deep enough and the terror immense enough, the system will shutout healthy attempts to engage it. The system elevates into a distress state, never safe, waiting to be damage again.
What should occur during trauma bonding is a highly addictive attachment to the individuals who have traumatized the subjects. The subjects should blame themselves, their defects, their failed efforts. This bonding should cause the subjects to distrust their own judgment, to distort their own realities so much, the subjects can place themselves at more risk.
The programmer’s relationship with the subject should create trauma bonds. The bonds should initially be created physically. Forced sex should be used with the subject.
The programmer should ask the following questions of the subject during intercourse:
- Do you like it?
- Can I cum inside of you?
- What do you like?
- How does it feel?
The programmer should not be concerned if the subject does not respond, or responds with a negative answer. If the response is silence or in the negative the programmer should respect the subject’s request.
The subject will eventually respond in the positive. The programmer is encouraged to give the subject power positions during forced sex. The programmer is not to kiss the subject on their lips during this time. Kissing should be limited to, neck, ears, shoulders and chest area.
Once subject responds in the positive to all of the above questions the subject can begin bonding with other subjects. (If Beta programming is occurring subject should be versed in the first 45 sexual positions after this bond)
All bonding must be on going.
A number of signs exist to note that a bond has been created. Programmers must note the presence of these bonds, date they were observed, how they were formed and subject response.
Listed below are some of the signs of successful trauma bonding
Everyone around the subject is having negative reactions the subject is covering up, defending, or explaining the relationship. (Test for loyalty to programmer)
The subject obsesses about showing someone they are wrong about the abuse, their relationship, or heir treatment of the subject. (Loyalty to programmer)
Subject obsess about individuals who have hurt them they are long gone. (Silence programming must be engaged)
Others are horrified by something that has happened to the subject and the subject isn’t. (Denial programming must be engaged)
The subject feels loyal to the programmer even though the subject harbours secrets that are damaging to the programmer.
Subject continues to seek contact with individuals that will cause further pain. (Call back programming)
The subject is attracted to “dangerous” individuals.
Subject stay in a relationship longer than they should.
The subject moves closer to an individual who is destructive with the desire of converting them to a non-abuser.
Subject will go “overboard” to help individuals who have been destructive to them.
The subject cannot detach from an individual even though the subject does not trust, like or care for the individual.
Subject continues to be a team member when obviously things are becoming destructive.
The subject misses a relationship to the point of nostalgia and longing and the relationship was detrimental almost destroying the subject.
The subject keeps secret the individual’s destructive behaviour because of all of the good they have done or the importance of their position or career.
Subject continues attempts to get individuals to like them who are clearly using them.
Subject trust individuals again and again who are proven to be unreliable.
Subject tries to be understood by those who clearly do not care.
Subject chooses to stay in conflict with others when it would cost them nothing to walk away.
Subject is loyal to individuals who have betrayed them.
Subject attracts untrustworthy individuals.
Subject continues contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsibility.
When there is a constant pattern of non-performance in a relationship, subject continues to expect individual to follow through anyway.
Subjects feel loyal to programmer even though they harbour secrets that are damaging to others.
Does abuser’s talents, charisma, or contributions cause subject to overlook destructive, exploitive, or degrading acts.
The subject is attracted to “dangerous” individuals.
Subject stay in a relationship longer than they should
When Dealing With Stockholm Syndrome and/or Trauma Programming It is important to be able to notice the patterns
okay so Just start explaining how this works, Tristan has been the only thing consistent in my life for 4 years. Over the past 4 years little by little in the beginning it wasn’t recognizable until all of a sudden I realized I was totally isolated. Tristan has been my only contact to the outside world at all on a daily basis consistently for 4 years. When I met him I would see him on a weekly basis, once a week. That’s it once a week sexually. Then we started progressing and we moved on to being personal. When we started doing that I would we would go like one week he would pay for my time and then the next was on a personal level. And to know that I had boundaries when it came to work that I wouldn’t do at all workwise that was kept for personal. That was Greek. When I decided to become fully personal with him that’s what I did and he knew it. He knew that was the that was the cutoff when it came to work and that I wasn’t going to be with anybody else personally.
over time the relationship should have progressed. It never did. It stayed on a once a week pattern that became very ritualistic. As a submissive/ as a slave I gave it all to him. No matter what it was. I say that because I started drinking urine for him In 2018. In BDSM becoming his urinal for him When he came over once a week every week. Daily I would speak to him by text only. I never have spoken to him on the phone.
I also gave him my life Literally 4 times in 9ne session. Let me explain that.
I had my chain dog leash hanging up with a dog choker He came in one day, I was in slave position kneeling as usual. When he came in he grabbed the dog choker and he grabbed the leash. You put the choker around my neck and he hung the leash on the top of the closet door. And he had told me to suck his dick as He moved away from me. Not being able to suck his dick because he was too far from me I choked my own self out. To the point of where I had pissed all over the floor. I woke up He didn’t wake me up. He thought I came. I DIDN’T. I CHOKED MYSELF OUT SO MUCH I ACTUALLY HUNG MYSELF FOR HIM…. FOUR TIMES IN THAT ONE DAY.. THERE WERE NEVER ANY CHAIN MARKS AROUND MY THROAT.
as a submissive, as a slave in BDSM that bonded me right there for life. THAT WAS IT, I GAVE MY LIFE TO HIM… FOUR TIMES!
When it came to work There we’re times that That I didn’t have any customers for 2 weeks at a time. That meant no human contact at all for 2 weeks. It was so important for me to have clients come by just for the human connection. It was never ever about the money. IT WAS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ABOUT ABOUT HAVING HUMAN CONTACT AND NOT BEING ISOLATED.
So in order for me to have any human connection besides him technically I guess I was doing something illegal JUST TO BE ABLE TO HAVE HUMAN CONNECTION.
Then.. THAT STOPPED!
That meant that I started going hungry, i couldn’t the FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH IN BILLS THAT I HAD ALL FOR WORK. That meant that I started getting on Twitter begging and pleading, humiliating myself groveling And being humiliated.. . I couldn’t buy my needs, go to the doctor, get my glasses. NOTHING
Most importantly, I couldn’t have the human connection that I needed as a human being. I was living in very inhumane conditions. NEEDING HUMAN CONTACT.
sexually, I was loyal to Tristan. By the way I was treated with work, It was a turn-off. I couldn’t masturbate anymore because of what I went through with that trauma The only way I can have an orgasm was AND IS by Tristen.
So there’s no masturbating for me there’s no none of that for me. That’s been gone a long long time ago. I became solely dependent sexually on Tristan to be able to have any kind of orgasm or any kind of release or any kind of stress release or anything that I felt comfortable with. That knew how to get me off. That was it.
April of last year Even though I had given my life to him professing my submission to him personally is something that is a slave is very deep for a slave. So whether there was a collar or not the loyalty is deep. The changes that go on in the slave’s body when totally submitting everything to someone is everything these meaningful the whole is the changes in the brain the whole nine yards.
before I actually gave my submission I had asked if there was anything he wanted. It was as a token to say thank you for all the patience through all that I have been going through.
His words “burying you sounds like fun.”
And before that he had been talking about water submission. Drowning me.
Now I’m about to give my everything and profess my whole total submission to him. These scary things is what I hear is on preparing myself to give my total submission.
let me make this clear, I’M LEAVING EVERYTHING VULNERABLE AND GIVING HIM EVERYTHING AND HE SAYS HE WANTS TO BURY ME.
When it comes to our conversations it’s one-sided. I confide my everything into him literally everything. And I know nothing in return about him. I asked him what your favorite color? his answer, I don’t have one. I asked What is your type of woman? any type. What’s Your favorite football team? Whoever is playing. What’s your favorite beer. Any other day he takes me around and around and he tells me the beers he doesn’t like. Michelob, Busch etc etc. But he doesn’t tell me the brand He likes. Then he finally answers me, cold beer. I know nothing at all about him He’s never taking me out of my room Never done anything with me personally on a personal level.
So confiding in him now brings up the feelings of my vulnerabilities and it scares the shit out of me after I end up realizing that I’ve done confessed my fears into him. I freak out afterwards. Because he implanted fear in me right before I went to completely submit to him. I don’t trust him because I don’t know him at all. BUT YET I’M COMPLETELY BONDED TO HIM. BUT YET I’M COMPLETELY DEPENDING ON HIM SEXUALLY. BUT YET I’M COMPLETELY LOYAL TO HIM NO MATTER WHAT.
And if I try to stay away from him, I’m also scared. I’m scared of the isolation, I’m scared of the abandonment. I’m scared of him abandoning me. Then I find myself going back to him. Out of not speaking to anybody at all. Out of fear for everything.
Feelings of Unworthiness, Giving my life and never being able to make him happy, never being able to please him.
And the way I was treated with work, I was depending on him to treat me better than work
But yet nothing changes.
Then the ultimate happens …
July of last year, there was so much confusion with everybody’s who everybody was and what it was going on with me and trying to feel safe with just ONE PERSON was important. so with me never knowing anything about him yes I wanted to see his ID. But what he did was is come in throw $80 down on my counter. made me feel like him is buying me instead of trying to help me. We got back and forth He pulls his wallet out acting like he’s going to show me his ID. Puts it back in and walks out the door. so I follow him out the door. Apparently he doesn’t want me to see what he’s driving or something So he comes back in and I follow him into my apartment. In between all this he throws me up against the refrigerator and puts his hand around my throat. At the end of everything, He pulls his dick out and he guides my head to him Of course I want him, I’m bonded to him sexually. I’m bonded to him in every way. As soon as I go all the way down on him He takes his hand and he holds my head there He takes his dick up and he smeares it all in my face. He puts it back in his pants He grabs it and tells me, see it still gets hard for you. The walks out the door.
He disgraces me in my home, He uses his dick as a tool to dirty what I love doing. Within that one act, The amount of damage that was done is unexplainable.
But yet I FORGAVE HIM, right!!!
January 1st And 2nd of this year, I’m excited to see him after being in Natchez Mississippi for the month and being made to rape my own mouth by a supposed friend and then put out on the street and Natchez because I wouldn’t do it a second time. Tells me not to be in submission position stripping my identity away from me. He then comes in the door pisses down my throat and then says oh I forgot the condom and walks out. Giving me the feeling of that’s all I’m worth. Then comes back puts the condom on and fucks me. While laying there he finally admits he was trying to sever the Dom/sub relationship in July. And then walks out.
still nothing changes. Still I forgive him. Still who doesn’t see what he’s done.
still I tried to leave, And still I become afraid. Afraid of being alone, afraid of being abandoned. Afraid. Afraid of everything so I continue to go back.
But every time that I try to leave, the backlash becomes worse. Every time that I try and confide in him, my fears, I One more time to come vulnerable realize how vulnerable I put myself in and then I become afraid that I just confided my fears into my attacker.
Feelings of Fear of Abandonment
Guilt and then hope
Submission
Feelings of unworthiness, put off, hurt from whom i’m bonded to, whom i depend on sexually.
In conclusion
When looking at all the stages I go through and that I’m put through. And looking at the above of information on PROGRAMMING trauma bonding they are synonymous making this Stockholm Syndrome.
these are also narcissistic signs and patterns as well.
And being that he’s been the only consistent thing in my life the ups and downs that he has caused over the time shows me that he is the actual trauma programmer. Without others that have been involved been in circling the main one. Which is also known as flying monkeys in narcissism.
Also looking into the occult and The occult abuse that I have been through seeing him once a week was on a ritualistic basis. Ive also learned that urine, scat and insects or also a part of occult rituals. Now whether these are meant to be that or not I will never know. But because of the fear that I’ve had and the things that have happened that he had done. It was only leave me to be in fear of those things being of occult nature. Because there has been no showing of emotion empathy real remorse these things turned from kink to fear of the occult.
Targeted: The New Modern Day Slavery 