Sunday, December 13, 2020
11:59 PM

You offered safety.. a safe place to come to…..a FRIEND WAS OFFERING A SAFE PLACE TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO STRAIGHTEN UP ALL THE SHIT WITHIN MY LIFE FROM OTHERS TAKING OVER MY LIFE BECAUSE THE FELT ENTITLED TO DO WHATEVER IN MY LIFE FUCKING IT UP.

Its not like i didn’t talk with you about what i had to do. I stated about being raped and the forced compliance of using dick as a weapon to forcevto comply or i paid the price going hungry and homeless… I stated i would pay rent on the first when i got my check. You accepted that.

Apparently you choose to hear only what YOU WANTED TO HEAR in your own mind. .. A woman that will instantly give servitude and free rain on pussy.

I just spent my check going 2 states just to be in tge exact same situation i left from.

The other night… You think i enjoyed having to like raping my own fucking self… After the same 4 years just left to go right back into. Just because you can see the scars don’t mean sjut


And now your telling me i owe you my body for your offering me safety while punishing holding me back because think i owe you my body… Essentially telling me i have no choice over my body. Telling me you don’t want my money. You won’t even take money that’s from the government nit work Money.

Heres the kicker that really the really fucked my ass up the other night…

You had me bow down to had me to cower down to give you further driving home into me the same exact humilating disgracing feeling shame i just left from

Apparently in your i owe you my bidy in return if your offering me a safe zone that us not safe.

What ths fuck is safe about being told i had to make myself like it

TELLING ME THE SANE EXACT THINGS I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO DO ABD ENJOY ALLOWING MYSELF THAT KIND OF FUCKED OFF MENTAL FUCKING SHIT. WHATS FUCKIN DIFFERENT … FRIEND

ILL LEAVE ON THE 2ND..

THE FACT THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE A WEAKNESS WITH YOUR INTERNET THEREFORE FURTHER DRIVING MENTALLY THAT I HACE WILLFULLY COMPLY TO WITH … ONLY PAYING IN SEXUAL FAVORS IN RETURN OF MY HEAD AND FOOD IN BELLY. .

FURTHER SURE YOU LET JE KNOW I KNOW MY FUCKING PLACE AS A WHORE THAT IS NOTHING MORE TO BE FUCKING BE DISGRACED

MAKING ME WILLFULLY ALLOW YOU OWNERSHIP MY BODY WITH NOT ALLOWING ME TO SAY BY PUNISHING ME IS RAPE

I WILL LEAVE ON THE 2ND WHEN I PAID MY TICKET OUT OF HERE

BUT I REFUSE TO ALLOW MYSELF WHAT I FELT THE OTHER NIGHT!


I CAME HERE TO REGAIN MY STRENGTH FROM BEING BEAT DOWN IN THIS EXACT SAME FUCKING MANNER…. YOU CONSIDER THIS SAFETY…

THIS IA IS WHY I GAVE OF WHAT I NEEDED TO DO TO STRAIGHTEN UP WHAT MEN FUCKED UP IN MY LIFE

I GOT PUNISHING TGE SAME IF TGE FUCKERS JUST DECIDED

I HAVE PUT UP WITH WAY MORE THAN SHARE IF MEN DISGRACING IN THESES WAYS.

WHICH IS WHY I SPECIFICALLY STATED I WILL PAY RENT BY MONEY ON THE FIRST JUST SO I DIDN’T G9 THROUGH THUS SAME SHIT

FIR YOU TO TELL ME YOU WON’T TAKE MT MONEY TELLING ME I HAVE TO PAY YOU BY MY BODY


OR PAY THE CONSEQUENCES HUH… FURTHER MAKING SURE I KNOW IM NOTHING TO YOU BUT A FUCKING WHORE TO DISGRACE.


AND THIS I’M SUPPOSED TO ENJOY HUH. ILL LEAVE ON THE SECOND!

I came FUCKING here TO NOT BE THE WHORE THAT YOUR FORCING ME TO BE. NO THANKS

I came here to get out of it NOT stay in it!
.
I have a choice with my body without being made to pay one way or the fucking other.


I will sleep on the fucking porch with the rest of the animals.

Before i ever fucking allow another mother fucker to disgrace me and Shame me in those same exact disgusting vile ways again.

IM FUCKING USED TO BEING TREATED WORSE THAN QN ANIMAL I DON’T HAVE PROBLEM BEING ON THE PORCH IM TOLD MY FUCKING PLACE IS IF I DON’T COMPLY



YOU NEVER CARED TO FUCKING NOTICE I CAN’T EVEN LOOK YOU IN THE EYE NOW ALL I SEE IS THE SAME MONSTERS and you think i enjoyed the other night

Yea THINK i totally enjoyed having to MAKE MYSELF BE COMFORTABLE WITH ONLY HAVING TWO CHOICEE…. BETWEEN BEING OUTSIDE HOMELESS AND WILLFULLY KNEELING DOWN TO RAPE MY OWN SELF.. STEALING WHAT FUN AWAY FROM ME BY NOT BEING PATIENT LIKE I SAID I NEEDED. NOT EVEN 2 DAYS IS PATIENT???;I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE HORROR I WAS HEARING OUT OF WHAT I THOUGHT TO BE A…. FRIEND ALL THESE YEARS

WHO THE FUCK NEEDS ENEMIES WITH FRIENDS LIKE THIS

I dealt with this FROM fucking STRANGERS … NOT MY FRIENDS.. FURTHER MORE DISGRACING THE FUCK OUT ME

I fucking to fucking have a SUPPOSED FRIEND WHO OFFERED FORCE ME BY SEXUAL FAVORS TO BARTER AND BE PAID BY TRADE FOR FOOD AND SHELTER… AND i hate to break it to you.. BY LAW THAT’S TRAFFICKING

REALITY… At least there i could at least be ABLE TO CHOOSE THE LESSER OF ALL THE EVIL

TO NOT ALLOW BOUNDARIES IN MY OWN PERSONAL BODY SPACE BECAUSE I OCCUPY YOUR HOME

THAT’S VA SERPENT … NOT A FRIEND.. A FRIEND WOULD NOT TELL SUCH VILE EVILISH BULLSHIT

GET ME OUT IN THE COUNTRY 30 MILES AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION AND TELL ME TO PUT OUT OR GET THE FUCK OUT!!!

Information for TI’s

Thursday, May 27, 2021
12:45 AM

Important information for TI’S
Discussion
Okay so I’ve been doing extensive amounts of research okay targeted Justice is about to go and do a civil action lawsuit on directed energy weapons and organized gang stalking here’s what you need to know.
First of all you need to put together a cease and desist letter and I have done this on both of my websites and you can take all of what I have done as a an example to write yours up.
My situation is just so vast and so big that I’m having to do everything on my websites.
Get your evidence together
File for a class action lawsuits at Target justice.com
Become a member of targeted justice.com
KNOW THE LAWS AND KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT YOU HAVE RIGHTS TO FIGHT THIS
You can check out everything that I’ve been doing on both of my sites even though my main one is where you’re going to get most of the information at from what I’ve been looking at. there is one link that will end up triggering those that have been dealing with subliminal messaging and hypnotism I put a warning on out on the title so please be careful on that one but it is part of my evidence like I said my evidence is so vast that none of it is complete but it does give a an idea of what’s going on with me and how things are done
Also I haven’t put up my tips for TI’s yet on the page on but I will be doing so soon and also I want to put together what I found on target Justice as per tips for TI’s on that blog that’s coming up soon I’ve got it written out but I don’t have it finished yet so it’s still in drafts..
YOU CAN FIGHT THIS!!! THERE IS HOPE!! KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AND KNOW THE LAWS
My main website is https://msrogueofsa.net
https://Mylifeasati.code.blog
.
I’ve just started working on this one I have a lot that I want to put out I still have the PDFs of all the resources that I want to get out there to everybody that’s a good resource of information and stuff that I found over the years of research and all this that everybody I know will be happy to be able to have their hands on.
Just thought I’d give an update and let you know there is hope

From <https://www.reddit.com/r/Gangstalking/comments/niszrc/important_information_for_tis/&gt;


https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/26/politics/pentagon-havana-syndrome-memo/index.html

Wednesday, May 26, 2021
3:52 AM

How I’ve spent my forced imprisonment

Starting in 2018 I went from barely knowing how to turn on the computer to building five websites in one year. I have torn down and taken down my website a total of eight times. That would be my main website.

My main website is specifically built to be multifunctional and multi-purpose. And so far I’ve spent over 10 grand in that website. Tinkering with my website is something that I’ve learned that I enjoy after my kids are grown and gone. I enjoy it when it’s not made into forced labor.

Not only am I admin to wordpress, but I’m also admin to all the Google analytics and programs that go with the website. As well as admin to office 365 business. Being a believer in security I went ahead and got Microsoft E5 mobility Plus security. Which is a business account for an organization of more than 200 employees. I very quickly learned that I gave myself more work than I expected.

I have had to teach myself how to be my own IT department as well as teaching myself web design, web graphics, SOME coding, IT work, to a degree. To give myself experience making websites on several different platforms that includes SharePoint, WordPress, Wix, Weebly, and squarespace.

I have also studied and learned law in many different subjects including but not limited to porn law, data and privacy laws, copyright laws, trademark laws, human trafficking, obscenity laws, stalking and harassment laws, FOSTA and SESTA laws
I’ve also taught myself photography, producing, directing and editing and watermarking being that I’m a sex worker.

I have also built two other websites rightsforsexworker.wordpress.com and mylifeasati.code.blog

and honestly speaking I’ve actually built like 30 websites those two I just put out publicly the others were practice for me.

Oh and by the way that’s all in between being a targeted individual and dealing with 24/7 harassment and being abused, undergoing continued attacks working through being sick with the directed energy weapons EMF radiation Burns I’ve dealt with as well as being disabled with my back I pushed and worked through it all and refused to let my attackers bring me down. That’s also dealing with homelessness hunger fighting for my human rights and everything else that I’ve been fighting for the last 4 years

I’ve gone through human trafficking, satanic ritual abuse, trauma based mind control, hypnosis without realizing it, EMF radiation Burns which has caused me brain damage and I show in pictures where my brain was being cooked by EMF/ microwaving and my brain swelling outside my skull and protruding OUT of my forehead. I’ve gone through being violated and raped I’ve gone through having my clothes literally ripped off my back, my door kicked in several times, waking up being violated a guy jerking off in my bed fucking with my body while I was passed out from pain in my back which is why I don’t sleep with a man in my bed.

I’ve gone through hell and back. Back to hell and of course I got kicked out of hell again.

I’ve always been a very spiritual person that’s very in tune with herself, and I’m very gifted as well as I am an empath. There are seven different kinds of empaths and I happen to be all seven of them. Which would explain me being a healer, a seer as well as getting spiritual messages like I do and seeing visions. I am instantly hated or loved there’s no in between. If you can’t stand my fucking guts and you can’t stand what you see or can’t stand the way you feel or can’t stand the feelings you get from me…if there are any negative then that would be called the mirroring effect. As an empath reflects those that are around them. I don’t carry any negativity around me so if anybody feels any negativity from me that would be me reflecting your true self back to you. Which that tends to happen a lot I can’t help it I don’t know it, it’s just natural.

But if you do feel any negative from me it is not me because I don’t carry negativity. I’ve gone through a lot of hate and judgment in my life so therefore I don’t feel the need to, first of all bring myself down to those people’s levels I respect myself more then that and because it’s been done to me I wouldn’t want to do those things to others. While the world has taught me hatred and judgment what it feels like to be hated and what it feels like to be judged I tend to want to do the opposite and show the world what it’s like to care to be kind and to love unconditionally.

And believe me my kindness is not to be taken as a weakness. Because it takes every bit of strengthen me to continue to be kind to those that have hurt me. It takes every bit of strength than me to continue to love thy neighbor even those that hate me. So my kindness is a strength not a weakness.

I don’t claim to be perfect Lord knows I’m not. Matter of fact I don’t make any claims I just claim to be real to be myself and to stay true to myself that’s all. I’ve learned in my older years to try my best to better myself to do right by others and just simply to do the right thing no matter what it is. To treat others as you want to be treated. And just try my best to be better than I was the day before. I have a lot of trauma I have a lot of hurt and I have a lot of damage from that trauma and the abuse that I’ve gone through. As I know I’ve got brain damage but I don’t know to what extent. I know that I stutter because of the brain damage that I now have.

I don’t know everything but I sure try to learn everything, or at least as much as I can as knowledge is power. I sure have endured a hellva lot. But in between, I’ve also had many great experiences while I was enduring. I’ve lived a full life. Both good and bad.

As a parent, I have two boys grown men, both went into to the military. My oldest is 33 and a Marine, my youngest 19 and a half and coincidentally enough in the Air Force for cyber warfare. A single mother to my youngest…. I’ve made it through my child wanting me to kill me when he was 11 12 and well he left 2 months before he turned 13. He actually was a miracle child because I couldn’t have anymore. I was going in for my hysterectomy when I found out I was pregnant for him. And we’ll, , I don’t see any support groups these days for parents who have kids that kill them. They are dead and I so happen to have made it and am still alive.

No matter what I stay true to myself I stay humble and I remember where I came from, and even through what I’ve experienced in my life, it has changed me I don’t let it define me. And the only way that I will allow anything to define me is in a positive way. As what I have gone through it is what keeps me humble, it keeps me down to earth and it makes me even more compassionate of others even though I just don’t understand humankind these days.

What’s important to me is honesty, respect and honor. And I’m old school. Everything after that follows suit. My mind is complex very complex so I tend to try to stay living as simple as I can. No one understands me but yet I’m not meant to be understood so therefore I’m always called crazy which is okay. I’d rather be crazy than the demented sick motherfuckers that have done the things that they have done to me. So you can call me crazy you can call me psycho you can call me whatever you want I don’t give a flying fuck it doesn’t matter to me. I can tell you this fucking much I’m happy to be crazy and psycho it’s so much better than to be demented sick and abusive it’s better than hating and judging. And these kinds of people I do not care to encircle my life around.

I’m not going to prove myself to anybody I shouldn’t have to besides that I have nothing to fucking prove to no one I’ve already proved it to myself. I have nothing to gain from anybody’s drama or negativity. My life my experiences what I’ve lived it’s not up for approval it’s not up for a negotiation it’s not up for fucking discussion how can you fucking negotiate what I’ve already fucking lived we can discuss it all you won’t but I don’t care what the fuck you think about my life or what I’ve done and in my life it’s already been done and it’s over with. If you feel the need to be stuck in the past and stay stuck on that lower level and your root chakra then go right ahead by all means please do so alone or without me around. I choose to be a living better than that and above that. If any motherfucker thinks what I do or don’t do or what I do as a job or whatever defines me. That has nothing to do with me nor my character I was defined long before you even know I existed. You have no say so in what defines me I define me. Me myself and fucking I.

So don’t get it twisted because at that point I’ll untwist it fucking for you and make sure you know who’s boss of me, his controlling the situation and more importantly WHO’S IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF THEIR OWN SELVES WHICH SEEMS TO BE ONLY ME. CONSIDERING THOSE THAT THINK THEY CAN CONTROL MY LIFE DON’T SEEM TO HAVE ANY CONTROL AT ALL. WHICH I FIND TO BE IRONICALLY ENOUGH. BECAUSE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT THINK THEY CONTROL IN MY LIFE HAD THEY HAD ANY CONTROL THEY WOULDN’T BE IN MY LIFE FUCKING WITH IT THEY WOULD BE IN THEIRS BETTER IN THEIRS LIKE ME. BUT THAT’S OKAY I DON’T HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER THEM I DON’T CARE TO HAVE CONTROL OVER THEM BUT I SURE HAVE CONTROL OVER MYSELF THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. I MEAN JUST SAID THAT YOU REALIZE YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOSE CONTROL TO BE ANGRY JUST SAYING….


So to all your trolls out there who think you are the most fucking narcissistic important motherfuckers in the world you’re not I could care less about you. While you were out trying to fucking diss people and down people just so that you can fill inferior and Superior I’ve decided to carry on with my life and move on along without you and better myself because that’s all I can do. See I know I don’t have control over you and over who likes me and who doesn’t like me but personally I don’t even care who does or doesn’t I’m not here for a popularity contest. And who says you’re fucking important to me to care what you think about me I don’t even know who you are so you’re not that fucking special to me to worry about what you got to think about me it doesn’t fucking matter when you don’t matter when I don’t know you.

As I said instead of spending my time worrying about the Joneses and my neighbors and what their fucking doing, sticking my nose where don’t fucking belong I’ve chosen to better myself as much as I could all on my own. In between living hell literally. So if you can do better than what I’ve done I am all kinds of happy and proud for you and I will give you all the…”attaboy’s and attagirls” all that you need and your little heart can desire.

I’m just me,. And there is no other like me thank God. I’m an individual I don’t want to be in like anyone else that would be a boring world to live in so I’ve embraced my individuality I’ve embraced my sexuality I’ve embraced my spirituality. And if you don’t like it I don’t give a fuck. I choose to be better than those that have abused me and that have attacked me. And if you don’t like me personally speaking… YOU CAN TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY JUST AS EASY AS YOU FUCKING WALKED UP GET Ya FUCKING STEPPING THEN. IDGAF.

IF YOU SEEM TO THINK YOU’RE BIG AND BAD ENOUGH TO WALK MY JOURNEY IN A SIZE 3 AND 1/2 KIDS SHOE THAT I KNOW YOU CAN’T STICK YOUR FUCKING BIG TOE IN GO RIGHT THE FUCK AHEAD AND TRY. I SURE IN THE HELL WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU WIGGLE AND GO THROUGH AND MAKE IT THROUGH THIS SHIT THAT I HAD ACTUALLY LIVED AND MADE IT THROUGH FUCK YOU I’M A SURVIVOR IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT KISS MY FUCKING ASS I DON’T CARE. NO SURVIVOR CARED WITH THE OTHER FUCKING PERSON THOUGHT ABOUT THEM SURVIVING.

I am 49 years old disabled with five different things wrong with my back 410 and 115 maybe 120 pounds fucking soaking wet. And I have fought five different grown men four them cops all at one time so if you got any beef with me and you come to me directly and take it up with me we can talk about it adult like or I can go toe to toe I don’t care. Although I do much prefer to love and share the love than to fight and be about all kinds of drama that’s not me.

Here’s what you got to remember… Those that have been targeting me well they didn’t know or realize when they took it ALL from me that I became a dangerous motherfucker cuz I have nothing to lose anymore. I have nothing to care for anymore besides myself. Material shit don’t matter to me. I’m not going to bring anything material when I’m die. All I got is time honey I choose to spend it like I want to better myself.

Here’s the secret… Just when you THINK … You have me figured me out do yourself a favor and stop at that word think because if you don’t, you just fucked up because well …..there you go thinking again… Lol and you got it all wrong when it comes to me I’m not like any other you have met before in your life.


One last thing to say to all the little spoiled brats who are youngins thinking they running the whole show let me tell you something I thought that too, my peers that are my age thought that too and those before me and us thought that also. So get a grip if you think the fucking world revolves around your narcissistic stupid ass think again. As I used to tell my youngest son you’re not that fucking special in this world. You are no different than me and I am no different than you we are all just trying to figure out how to fucking survive this thing that we call life on this planet that’s called Earth and honestly speaking looking at the big scope of things, we are all just little bitty peons to the whole big Earth we ain’t nothing but a drop a little bitty dust that’s on the ground. So you no more special than I am. So get over you’re conceited vein selves. Smh….


So that’s it in the nutshell. 😁
Much love and peace out
TAKE CARE, I WISH EVERYONE WELL. I just thought I’d share a little bit.


From <https://www.reddit.com/user/TirdofbngTerorizdnTx/comments/nlbi7s/how_ive_spent_my_forced_imprisonment/&gt;

Oh well DUUUDE I guess it’s quite obvious that you are not educated in the pornography and adult industry. Hmmm interesting lol and last time mother fucking checked I have 36g tits I am not a dude dude or dude it fuck man God damn y’all talk about me right shit learn how to fucking talk correctly please. I mean it’s obvious that you don’t know anything about this industry and that you’re probably just jerk off to it which is planning good because that’s what you’re supposed to do but yes the porn industry is the most regulated industry there is with the exception of there is no safety regulations for those that work in it so I guess that fucking goes to show you DUUUUDE there are a lot of things I’m sure that you really don’t even know about and well you can either continue jerking off and not learn them or you can educate yourself about it that would be your choice not mine DUUUDE. Go figure some motherfucker was going to have to say something I mean it was an inevitable somebody got to say something about something and get all kinds of stupid about it but anyway I mean it was inevitable and I expected it you can tell who is grown adults here and who’s not. which is funny as fuck. But anyways have a great day DUUUDE😂😂😂😂

Saturday, December 12, 2020
3:01 PM

Doing the dishes just now i realized something

Very important

After ALL the things that i have experienced in this sense…

Spiritual warfare…


And this the last few years of my life..

Yes some things were similar…it lacked the most important things .. which I’m definitely going to give them that answer…

But here something for everyone to think about…

…ya know there’s just no fucking replicating THE devil ..

… many do these hidious things in “its” name
But THERE’S NO REPLICATING THAT MOTHERFUCKER THERE…

The cloud of confusion and swirling tornadoes hitting you all the time… yes you really going to think its the devil

But now that I’m on the other side of that. .

Man-made doing it in the name of….

But…

It wasn’t “IT” !!!!

Saturday, December 12, 2020
11:48 AM

Since im confinde to the darkness of my mind, i couldn’t tell what is worse

Actual imprisonment

Or

“Freedom” imprisonment

I think its worse sometimes the outside world ppl expect you to be a certain way THAT IS JUST NOT POSSIBLE. Its like expecting me to just shit 500 million in gold and just hand it to you …ITS JUST NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE.

So since im confined within my mind, the paper is all i have. To put my thoughts down, to “Talk” to “something” that doesn’t judge my stuttering that i now have because of the trauma. It doesn’t care about all the mistakes i make as i can barely type anymore. Because all of the just…. shaking.

There is NO MORE NORMAL LIFE FOR ME ..I knew I WOULD NEVER FEEL SAFE AGAIN…

Since im hiding now…or rather i say i am .. I Know im not hiding, let’s just say IM SUPPOSED TO BE HIDING…BUT YET AGAIN….I FELL RIGHT INTO THE PERFECT MURDER LIKE IVE WRITTEN BEFORE


Its such a fucking morbid sense of humor these mothefuckers have, i swear. And to know just right before i mov8 to texas i knew my rest of life would be spent in a hellish tormented torture. The most slowest anganizing death you could ever possibly NEVER FUCKING WANT, i promise you. THEN WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT ITS CAME TRUE…TALK ABOUT HITTING YOUR KNEES WITH A GUT WRENCHING KICK AND INSTANTLY VOMIT Even though theres NOTHING IN YOUR STOMACH.

How would you feel if you knew you were documenting your own murder case. Just so that SOMEONE… ANY ONE UNDERSTANDS ….KNOWS THAT YOU DIED, AND HOW ..

BUT yet again I don’t have anyone nor do i trust a fucking soul to leave the ” WAYYY MORE THAN 40 GIGS WORTH OF PROOF” behind. Its all i have left of my life…THESE DOCUMENTS, THIS PROOF….

Its easy to SEE… NOW THAT I KNOW ..AND OVER TIME LOOK AT MY WRITINGS

YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON ..THAT IS…IF YOU CHOOSE TO!

THERE’S TWO THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT MY WRITINGS

When they organized, nice and neat well done with formation…and tberes only a couple like of them like this …its the few times ive been allowed peace… Even in my mind

When my writings are just all over the place and that jazz…well THAT’S THE CONSTANT AND BULLSHIT I GO THROUGH.

Take for example…the ringing in my ear since last march 2019….they changed it up this morning for the first time… instead of humming and ringing and CRICKETS….i got something different this morning…the noise that a submarine makes when under water ya know like in the movies.

Yep thats actually when i finally felt sleepy …for a little

Oh lets talk about that rain we had here last night…OH MY GOD MORE HELLISH TORTURE. .

They EVERYTHING YOU ENJOY IN YOUR LIFE AND DESCRSTE AND RUIN EVERY BIT OF IT ….ALL JUST FOR YOU…I PROMISE YOU WILL FEEL ALL KINDS OF LOVE …AMD FEEL VERY SPECIAL….THEY TAKE YOUR LIFE….AND HEY… RUIN IT….JUST FOR YOU ….ALL JUST FOR YOU…THATS A SPECIAL MOTHERFUCKING KIND OF FEELING I CAN TELL YOU.

Yes im being facetious as fuck but of course its my journallly who the fuck cares.


BETTER WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKERS
THERE IS NO FUCKING FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION…AND ESPECIALLY WITHOUT PUNISHMENT…ITS THE WAY TO DO THINGS TO MAKE YOU COMPLY. .

And i promise you to MAKE YOU … RAPE YOU, VIOLATE YOU IN WAYS

THAT YOU CAN’T SAY A WORD, THEY MAKE YOU DO IT WILLINGLY FREEDOM OF WILL.
As many ttimes as i have fought over these last few years…i keep finding myself back…back in that fucki5 gaged up corner, being dehumized in ways that goes beyond that average persons mentality to understand.

When you read my words in my words in my writings…YES TBERE ARE VERY LITERAL IN THE SENSE TGAT ITS MIND BLOWING…

i mean while watching the HUNGER GAMES…i mean…ya know…the thought NEVER FUCKING CROSSERS YOUR MIND THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THAT SANE FUCKING JUNGLE, NO FOOD NO CLOTHES NO NOTHING….BEING HUNTED AND TOYED WITH…TO HAVE THEIR HORRIFIC FUN LAUGHING AT HOW PITIFUL YOU LOOK BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING HUNTED.

these people …hunny there is JUST NO WORDS
being in the underground in the under belly in the sex world…i cam tell you EVERY TIME I THINK THAT A MAN…OR EVEN A HUMAN CANT GET ANY LOWER ON THEIR OEN SELVES…

It doesn’t surprise me anymore…BUT…

IT AMAZES THE FUCK OUT OF ME JUST HOW LOW A MAN WILL BRING HIMSELF TO …ITS mot just men its the women…in my case women providers..

Oh yea about that rain last night…yea abouy that Brain washing i went through earlier this year…yea i sent that mfer am email at 3 30 this morning….HE FUCKING WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS DOING…

I mean i kinda at the time kinda welcomed a decent trigger, i mean like i didn’t realize at first when general conversation “we need rain” and all. But when itd start raining and he’d text telling me..ITS RAINING…the. It was obvious. I mean i got horny… horny for him…it was welcomed…i don’t get horny anymore…


LAST NIGHT WAS A TOTAL FUCKING NIGHTMARE now i have to live the rest of my life…i wasn’t able to concentrate i started figgeetimg, then shakes then rhe shivers the sweating bulkets…of course the horniness came…sweet TORMENTED TORTURE…ONLY FOR HIM THOUGH huh
I associate rain for the rest of my life…to ygat man

Ya know with all these new realizations

I can tell ya… GOT DAMN IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER ….AT CONTINUALLY FUCKING ME UP.

How ya like them fucking apples. It really fucking sux!

Amd y know 99.9.99 percentage of tge time most of the people that ARE ACTUALLY DOING THE PROGRAMMING CAUSING THE TRIGGERS ETC ETC ETC

HAVE NOOOO FUCKING IDEA THEY ARE. THEY ARE OBLIVIOUS TO THD FACT OF WHAT HARM THEY HAVE ACTUALLY DONE.. honestly most don’t even care… Tjey just think your craxy and laugh at you.


You can see the early stages of demintia…”demint” yep deminted is the fucking word.

You can see the memory loss but yet im still sharp as a tack…its weird its hard to explain…its not that im crazy…its time lapse thst i now dealing with

I’VE BEEN SAYING THINGS AND YET IM LOOKING ALMOST 1000….A FUCKING THOUSAND DIFFERENT WRITINGS….

IN TWO YEARS…AND YET

IM NOT HEARD OR TAKEN SERIOUSLY

WHICH BTW IS TGE REASO5 FOR MY STUTTERING

IVE BEEN SCREAMING OUT SO FUCKING MUCH ..I CAN’T SPEAK RIGJT ANYMORE.

AND THEY HAVE TAKEN MY WRITINGS FROM ME TO AS WELL…YOU SHOW ANY WEAKNESS…


YOU SHOW SNY KIND IF OUT IR ENJOYEMENT YOU WON’T HAVE IT FOR FUCKING LONG
THEY ARE ON YOUR ASS TAKING THAT OUT AWAY. . SHUTTING YOU UP… SILENCING YOU


I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY WAS GOING ON…BUT TBINK ABOUT THIS


I WENT INTO THE UNDER BELLY OF HELL SCREAMING OUT I WAS CHILD GOD…

OOPS BIG OOPS IN THE WORLDLY SENSE OF SPEAKING

WHO IN THR RIGJT MIND WOULD HAVE THE BALL’S TO DO SUCH A THANG. .TBAG DON’T EVEN HAVE BALLS…

NOW IM PAYING A VERY SACRIFICIAL PRICE FOR BEARING WITNESS AND GIVKN6 MY TESTIMONY I PROMISE YOU. ITS NEVER GOING TO BE OVER FOR ME… NOW…THEY ARE RELAXING I. THEIR CHAIRS NIT EVEN THINKING OF ME (im long gone out their minds. .


Tbe effects of what they done to me…oh its priceless …amd life long …of JUMPING OUT SKIN AND SHIVERING AMD NIGHTMARES AND ALL THE REST TGST COME WITB IT.


I mean like i can’t relate to anyone anymore and mo one can relate to me…

And I don’t like thid new “me” and ni one else doez either wjo could blame them so i sit IN A FREE PRISON ISOLATED IN THUS SUPPOSED FREE COUNTRY… LMFAO WHAT A FUCK JOKE

FALSE SENSE OF FUCKING NOTHING

THERES NO WAY OF PROTECTION OT ANYTHING OR THESE PEOPLE

THE STORIES OF THE HALO CAST IS NOTHING I PROMISE

ITS GOING TO BE A 100 THAT WORSE AND I WAS JUST A SMALL EXAMPLE MADE OUT OF I PROMISE

THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE IT I ASSURE YOU

I sit and rock to comfort myself
I write to come out my mind…out of prison…a means to escape prison for a little while..

My efforts of of making myself stay sane. While everyone around me says im crazy

Life in revelation
Life of targeted Individual
Yep it sure is fun i promise

Saturday, December 12, 2020
9:48 AM

To note, within my testimony, my story these key factors you can plainly see

• The beginning of breaking down the life
• Breaking down the pysche and it’s affects its had.
• You will see me fight… fight back…. fight for my life, then you can notice when ive compiled.
• Isolation
• The feeling of abandonment
• The lonliness setting in
• Each time i was brought to suicide levels and how each time it was done differently
• The beginning of questioning my mental stability and the start of being discredited
• Social harassment
• Electronic harassment
• Social media harassment
• The death threats
• Tbe electronic death threats
• The microwaving and within time its affects

I can continue forever and a day with the list. For now though, i will say this. You will know just how they infiltrate every area of your life. Even areas you NEVER dreamed of realizing you had in your life.

Within this testimony you will see and know first hand from the beginning to thr end that within three years time how these people can and WILL and Do take someone’s life right awY from them
The tactics used, the affects its had and the affter effects and trying to learn how to deal with living in constant fear and shame and what its like to be trapped with in your own mind in silence as the tears constantly stream down the face of a targeted Individual….THIS TARGETED INDIVIDUAL!!

THIS IS MY STORY,A SEX WORKERS STORY, NOT JUST A SEX WORKER, BUT A MOTHER, A PERSON….A HUMAN BEING….AS IVE SAID BEFORE…

….IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY STORY, CHANGE MY STORY, CHANGE HOW YOU TREAT ME, THEN MY STORY WILL CHANGE!!!!!

It is within my story my testimony that i hope to bring awareness to others, it is my hope tgat within my words that i can help others through my pain and with all these words that ive typed and continue to type that one day ill be able to find a sense of peace again rven through freaking noise and torture snd torment. Its is through my pain of going through the all of this and trying to …MORE IMPORTANTLY

TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF WHAT HAS NO SENSE, NO REASON…JUST BECAUSE…

Disclaimer: im a regular person with faults, my story this is NOT PRETTIED UP, MASKED
ITS NOT TYPED CORRECTLY AND THAT JAZZ
IM SHOWING THE TRUE REAL HARSH EMOTIONS ETC OF MY LIFE AS A TARGETED INDIVIDUAL


ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PRETTY AND IM NOT SUGAR COATING A DAMN THING! THE TRUTH NEEDS TO BE OUT THERE! SO HERE IT IS. .. LIVE…REAL AND VERY VIVID COLOR!!!

Take notice how many times i screamed out tbe SAME THING

ALL OF MY WRITINGS WILL BE PUT OUT IVE WRITTEN OVER 800 DIFFERENT WRITING/BLOGS IN ONLY TWO YEARS TIME!!!!!

WHEN THE EARTH BURST AT ITS BELLY,MY EXPERIENCE

Saturday, December 12, 2020
4:49 AM

Things i need to remember to bring up
The walls of jericho
Babylon Sodom amd Gomorrah turning to stone

Its it WAS JUST SPIRITUAL….I had it beat before

This waaaay more than spiritual…AND I WAS NOT READY NOR PREPARED FOR IT


The left black eye

Waste and insects
Sex magic


Sute would be all on my walls

I was just made an example out of

Stockholm
Triangular


The use of the numbers 8, 9 0 3, 2

Anagrams

The placement of letters, number and symbols

Creating the triggers and what happens when triggerd

False names with false IDs BUT NO BACKGROUND

BODY snatching two meaning
Literally snatching you up or taking over. The body

Saturn, goat, mothers milk from breast


What.for.sentences.that.are.like.this


Pychosis
Hair falling out
Chaos
Influencers
Kik
Telegram
Mewe
Twitter
Tumblr

Saturday, December 12, 2020
3:49 AM

In order to be able to at least stand yp to this opponent you must do exactly what he is doing he is getting very up close and personal within our lives and learning every thing about us we need to be doing the same.

Unfortunately opponent has made it to where its feared to learn its craft. For example my mother.

BUT YOU MUST HAVE AT LEAST THE BASIC OF THE KNOWLEDGE IF EVEN BEGIN TO HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE

THE Basic knowledge that needs to be known

The cycle’s of the moon and their symbolism
The meanings of the days of the week
The months and their meanings

The zodiac and where the mion falls in the zodiac…it does affect
The meanings to colors and their symbolisms
The pagan wheel.. the holidays and their representations


The numbers are important

THE ELEMENTS AND THEIR MEANINGS AND SYMBOLISM ARE VERY IMPORTANT

The planets and symbolisms



Anagrams
Numbers
Hypnosis
Subliminal messaging
Programming
Brainwashing


Did you notice with the start of the quarantine that tv changed. They began to heavily program us. I noticed on bill myer his “audisnce” was tge 50s men and women…

When women submitted

Tnt started showing super heros more than they were

Hybrids with bumble bee in the movies
And of star wars has been huge

Irs either been super heros or going back into time.
This is the prepping period.

One thing i need to make sure to mention its been on my mind

As women…we ARE ALL JUST WHORES…THATS IT.. just depends what class you are in will all depend the respect the man gives.

The lower of class of whore the MORE VILE THEY ARE. DON’T FORGET IT.
SEX IS REGULATED TO THE MAX BUT NOTHING FOR SAFETY. Tgey took that AWAY.

The dick is a NOTHING BUT A TOOL A WEAPON AND THATS IT, AND ITS DEFINITELY USED AGAINST YOU….

BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE BY THE SAME WEAPON THAT IS USED HURT OTHERS AND TO CONTROL EVERYTHING….

SATAN TURNS AROUND AND USES TGAT SAME WEAPON AGAINST MAN! BY HAVING DO THE DIRTY BIDDING OF SATAN THEREFORE STAINING THEIR HANDS!!! HE IS NOT GOING YO HIS HANDS DIRTY!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2020
10:00 PM

While you are sitting there talking about how im sniveling and a cry baby, and the other day talking about i was just crying out bullshit or however you said it.

I guess if you wanna get brutally real about it, that you are sitting there being selfish as fuck and only god damn thinking about getting your dick fucking wet….!!!!

I guess when you said that id be safe here, that didnt include the fact that you are doing the same exact things that i have undergone.

YOU ARE INVALIDATING ME AND WHAT IVE GONE THROUGH,

OH AND WHILE IM THINKING ABOUT IT, THE OTHER DAY the second day i was here, after just trying to catch up on a little bit of rest… And you just had to make damn sure that you threw your 6 foot 5 big ass man self around about your house and scared the shit out of m e so fucking bad… That i don’t guess you realized that while you back in there to HUMILIATE me to your son… “I tried to be nice about it” that you scared me so fucking bad that i had pissed all over myself when you were throwing your domanice around to a little woman thats 4 foot 10 and been beat the fuck down for 4 fucking years by fucking men

I don’t guess you stop one fucking time to think that I’ve been abused so fucking bad by many many different men over and over THAT I CANT TALK ABOUT IT, THAT I DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING TO A MAN ABOUT ANY OF IT…

while you are sitting there so fucking worried about getting your god damn dick wet… YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT ONE FUCKING TIME HOW YOU HAVE MADE ME SHAKE FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF HOURS SO AFRAID OF YOU I CANT EVEN LOOK AT YOU….

I ALSO DON’T GUESS YOU “REALLY” HEARD ME WHEN I TOLD YOU MONDAY THAT I WAS AFRAID OF YOU GETTING UPSET WITH ME ON SUNDAY CUZ I WAS IN BED SICK ALL DAY LONG.

NO just like everyone else you only heard what ypu wanted to hear!

I GUESS NOT ONCE DID IT ENTER YOUR MIND THAT AFTER 4 YEARS OF SEXUAL ABUSE FROM MANY MEN, MAJOR PSYCHOLOGY ABUSE, AS WELL AS SANTANIC RITUAL ABUSE, GANG STALKING AMONG OTHER FUCKING ABUSE THAT I DO NOT WANT TO FUCKING EVEN THINK ABOUT SEX….

THAT IM COMPLETELY TURNED OFF BY THE MERE THOUGHT OF SEX… NO I GUESS YOU DIDN’T.. what i guess after 15 years ago which because of all the memory loss im having to accept amd deal with. You just thought it was going to be like 15 years ago…that we were magically be just like 15 years ago…THAT I CANT HARDLY REMEMBER.

Got damn it …where in the fuck is my supposed friend???!!!! IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND… AND IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER IF I CANT TALK ABOUT IT…IT ONLY MATTERS THAT THERES A SUPPORT SYSTEM…A FRIEND

OR I GUESS IS YOUR DICK GETTING WET MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU INSTEAD OF JUST BEING MY FRIEND.

So ok im sniveling amd a cry baby to you. But being selfish about you getting off … Aint much fucking better do i guess one aint much better than the other…


Oh just because there’s no one else coming here to do the same thing that ive been through, i guess you got excluded on that huh… You may get UPSET as fuck but i need to see that YOU ARE DOING THE SAME EXACT THINGS THAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH AND YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE ME SCARED AS OF FUCK OF YOU… AND YOU DON’T CARE TO REALLY STOP AND LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY. AND I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD JUST ALLOW ME TO GO AT MY PACE. I HAD STATED I NEEDED YOU TO BE PATIENT 9N THE SEX PART. JUST LET IT GO AND LET IT ALONE.

IM TRYING TO ACTUALLY SAVE A FRIENDSHIP… CUZ THERE ARE MORE THINGS IMPORTANT THAT FUCKING SEX!


I DON’T WANT TO BE HUMILATED NOR HOLLERED AT OR TOLD IM A CRY BABY OR TOLD THAT

YOU YOUR 6 FOOT 5 SELF WOULD NEFER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE A VICTIM

IM Glad tuat you do that and not have to worry about being a little woman and be over fucking powered by men who just do as they fucking please just because they are big

Not to mention that fact that i have been violated ehile i was passed out in fucking pain with my back…

Yea getting raped while i was passed out from so much pain in my back..

I DON’T TRUST MEN I DON’T CARE WHO IT IS…DO YOU THINK IM COMFORTABLE…ONLY ONE WEEK IVE BEEN GONE AWAY FROM ALL THAT HELL AND YOU THINK IM GONNA JUST BE ABLE TO LEAVE ALL OF THAT JUST THERE..

YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND IF YPU THINK THAT I CAN BE JUST BE ALL HONKY DORY AFTER 4 FUCKING YEARS OF ALL THE SHIT I HAVE GONE THROUGH.

I WISH TO GOD MEN WOULD GOD THINK PASSED THEIR FUCKING DICKS I SWEAR TO GOD.

THIS IS only way i could express anything… And im actually scared to fucking death of even expresing all of this, scared im going to get punished and feel the repercussions of expresing myself to a friend…

If you thats the case… If you get UPSET amd get pissed off about me coming and getting it out tbis way

IF YOU DO GET UPSET OVER THIS… THEN WHY WOULD I THINK ABOUT COMING TO YOU AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT IVE GONE THROUGH…

Im not trying to be opposing here, im trying to get you to look at things at a different prospective than what ypu looking at things. Damn it.

I NEED A FRIEND I DON’T NEED NOR DO I WANT TO HAVE A SEXUAL PARTNER

if you want to take it out in trade, if thats damn important to you, i gave you that option … I guess you weren’t happy with getting your dick sucked by who has been the BEST IN SAN ANTONIO BECAUSE I ALWAYS GAVE FUCKING EXCELLENT SERVICE

I guess that wasn’t good enough for you either

When i gave you the price of my service that DID MEAN TO HAGGLE ME… which of course is just like the rest of them…. Ypu getting a 30 minutes oral worship session, once a week equals 4 weeks 8s a month is an equailvant to 500 … That was taking it out in trade but like i said, i guess that wasn’t good enough either…

I have been called THE BEST BY MANY

It was a client that gave me my brand that wasn’t me, oh YOU DON’T REMEMBER WHAT I GAVE YOU 15 YRS AGO… SINCE YOU CAN REMEMBER EVERYTHING…

Stop acting them mother fuckers please
You have no idea you are acting the sane way all the while juat like everyone does…
“im not like thise other guys” …

Stop please ok
I guess im just expecting the worse out of this and get mad me amd make scared of you more and for the shit to hit the hit the fan fuck im even scared to srnd this…

I guess if you do get pissed off about me trying to express things to you it won’t be any worse than what ive already been through… dick used as a weapon,raped,beat Hungry homeless exploited like a mother fucker and every god dam thing else I’ve been through. I pretty much expect shit like that from any man now. Its just the shitty ass fucking ways men love to treat women, its the way it goes…


Men gotta make sure they throw their weight around on a little woman who can’t possibly fucking do anything about it when the man 3 times fucking bigger than the woman i swear i guess that makes a man feel like fucking popeye i swear. Yall don’t fucking think it scares the living shit out of woman…or do you men enjoy the fact that we are scared


And why in the living fuck do i have to talk about what ive gone through IF IM FUCKING NOT READY TO


just because you say i have to? And just because you don’t understand what ive gone through i guess that means im just crying wolf huh? You ever thought the way i react comes from being abused…i don’t guess you did huh…smh *sighs*


I guess all of this doesn’t matter you are only going to hear what you want to hear so none of this matters anyways…

WHAT MAKES YOU ANY DIFFERENT??? I KNEW I WAS PUNISHED OFF THE INTERNET, EVERY TIME I THINK A MAN CANT GET ANY LOWER… IT SURPRISE ME, IT ACTUALLY AMAZES ME HOW LOW A MAN WILL GO JUST TO GET AT A WOMAN TO HURT THEM ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, WHAT MAKES YOU A DIFFERENT THAN WHAT THESE MFERS ARE DOING TO ME… THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW I HAVE TGAT EMAIL BACK… BUT YOU SEE HOW THEY ARE CONSTANTLY EXPLOITEING ME!!! I thought you said i can just let it all go huh im in bum fuck mississippi and NO ONE KNOWS WHERE IM AT… AND IM STILL HAVING TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT… AND … NOW…. I HAVE YOU TO WORRY ABOUT ON TOP OF ALL THIS OTHER SHIT I HACE TO DEAL WITH

Living life as a sex worker: my personal experiences

Tuesday, December 8, 2020
9:32 AM

For such a highly regulated industry with the amount of laws that you have to worry about coming up to your nose. What this industry doesn’t have is any regulations towards the safety for those that work in it. I really hope that by sharing my horrible experiences that I am just now trying to come to terms with ..somewhat, that it will save someone’s life.

I have to tell you i have tried so many times, started so many writings…and yet none of it has been seen. I know when the quarantine started and so many were turning to this industry for a “quick and easy way” i had started writing a couple of blogs then and never was able to get them finished and put out.

The things that you need to know, the real nitty gritty shit that, my gawd i wish i would’ve known, no one is going to tell you. No one but me, that is.

For me, my story starts 4 years ago. I had moved to San Antonio, Texas in hopes of starting fresh after going through trauma of my son wanting to kill me. That had been an ordeal all on its own. A single mother disabled, living off of $300 plus food stamps a month, trying to raise an “entitled” son, or let’s just say thought that he was entitled…Looking back things changed with him pretty drastically about the age of 7. By the time he was 11 and 12, ya know pretty much the start of puberty, he had gotten meaner…or let’s say “more entitled.” My health situation didn’t help at all. And I’m sure that had alot to do with things.

To make that long story short, for any parent to have to sit and talk to their child about the mendez brothers about killing their parents…that seriel killers normally start with their parents, along with having to take all the sharp objects in the house out, knives, scissors and such. Two months before he turned 13, he left. Whether he called CPS or whether a neighbor really did, i guess ill never know.

The point is that year, i ended up 3 times in the hospital over this situation with my child. I had spent that year going through massive amounts of counseling and was just released from my counselor, and with the move from one state to another, counting my lucky stars and Thanking God i was still alive, i had high hopes for a new beginning to a fresh start in life. As i had taken my last look in the mirror in my place before i closed the door to what i had considered hell, at that time. Saying to myself, i have just made it through this hell i can make it through anything. There’s nothing that can compare living through this with a child.


…..ohhhh how wrong i was…..

I had no idea i was jumping from the frying pan into the fire of hell itself!!!!!!

In case you are wondering why I started with my story there, you needed to know the very beginning, where i was, where i had been and just how “impressionable” i was at that time. A single mother, that didn’t go anywhere, disabled, that was just trying to live life the best i could. And even though i worked for only 8 months when i was 25 going through my second divorce. This life, the industry, and everything having to do with it, was totally unknown. I’m now in my late 40’s so to understand that the only “social media” i was “hip” to was facebook and FetLife. That was it for me.


Also you need to know the things that i went through, as i look back it came into stages. So its imprtant to know these small details of each stage i went through.

…so i was happy to have moved… And even though i found myself to be just dropped off at a girlfriends of who i came to san Antonio with in spring branch, who was supposedly in the cartel somehow. I still didn’t know just what was ahead of me. Two weeks after moving, i left for the night to go into san Antonio just to try to do a little sight seeing on my own. Got a room that night and came back the next day. Upon getting back to spring branch, when i pulled in i saw all the furniture and all kinds of other shit outside. I was kinda freaked out wondering what the hell was going on. Well between my stuff and the furniture and shit that was brought by the girl i came here with, which btw i had called to be my “daughter i never had” ….seems like all of my stuff i brought with me were….GONE…just like that, disappeared and no one could give me any straight answers about anything.

Everything i had brought was keep sakes, things like my baby book along with my two sons baby books, a 90 year old wedding band that was was my grandmother’s, a simple band though it was, it was still 90 years old. Ya know…things that couldnt be replaced.

Well, with no help from my so called “daughter” that seemed to have just disappeared and went on to do her thing, i wasn’t quite sure of what i was going to do from there. Started to talking to this “friend” that she left me with. Who had talked to me about pulling an armed robbery ok…which ummm kinda freaked me out, of course upon me telling her not no but hell no. I had kinda was thinking along tge terms of just plain “working” so to speak.

Of course, i never could get any straight answers about anything, the girl started talking shit about being a lot lizard with the truckers… nothing ever staight. Which did not give me a warm fuzzy feeling in my gut at all.

In between all of this, i had gotten on Adult Friend Finder, met up with someone that took me for a bike ride and even though my helmet and all was gone, (i dont ride with a helmet anyways, if i can get away with it) i still had my leathers. So i went off and had fun on my ride. I guess that will surely be a bike ride that he will never forget. 😈 Cuz i love to play while riding on the back of a bike. I messed with him so much, he started trying to fuck the tank. Lol i didn’t mean for that. I was just being me, spontaneous and free…hell i tried to tell him…i dont talk by words, i talk by actions and i just do it, I don’t talk about it. Lol i laugh now because i guess he thought i was talking smack until we stopped in tbe curve my first time in canyon lake, where i had just decided right there in front of God and every one Passing by to just drop down to my knees and started giving him head. Lol seemed like the thing to do at the time LMFAO. I guess that made a believer out of him huh lol

Well getting back to the place in spring branch after the ride, i still couldn’t get any straight answers. My ID was gone, all my things were gone, trying to get me involved into an armed robbery situation and then talking some no-non sense shit about being a lot lizard…my thoughts were if this bitch is really part of cartel…this spelled disaster or at least being trafficked. Either way it was still disaster and trouble and my gut was fucking hurting bad. I knew i needed to take the fuck off.

All that night i tried to contact people that i had been talking to on AFF, frantic…i knew better, i knew i needed to be gone and quick. All these people wanted to talk about was their freaking dicks…go figure…. sending me dick pics…i never can that shit…what the fuck is a dick pic gonna do for me…cant tell none if them apart when you don’t know the person thats attached to the dick…. anyways…i spent all my time …with my time wasted…i didn’t have much time left till daylight. I still had to be gone that place. I wanted to be gone before she woke up.

So i packed up what i had left, what i could bring in 3 duffle bags. One if which was my bag that weighed over 100 pounds lol….my riding leathers and a weed pipe was all that left to what i had brought with me. I brought all three bags outside and hid them in the branches of a bush in the backyard.

I didn’t realize at the time, the guy i went riding with was married. Hell i had blown his phone completely up. I didn’t know anyone else and was desperately waz trying to get somewhere other than where i was at.

I finally found one person on AFF to pick me up and drop me off at Applebee’s i think it was on Devzula (spelling??) I don’t really remember. I did get in touch witb the guy i went on the bike ride with and he told me to meet him there, so thats what i did. Everything is like a blur to me though, what i can remember was specifically about 10 minutes away from that place…i felt something heavy lift off my chest, whatever it was i say like it was gray when it came off my chest…i began to choke some but all of a sudden i felt like i could breathe. Which i didn’t realize until then that my breathing was kinda labored. It kinda spooked me out, but didn’t have time to think about it. It was in the afternoon the next day…i had played it all off and i was finally out of there….to safety i was hoping for… trusting… hell i had to trust and believe because…well….i had no choice in the matter.

Well i waited until he came, when he did finally make it, he came in a Porsche. We had a hellva time fitting my three bags in there. Lol he was freaked out and i didn’t know any better really.i honestly was just trying to go from there, ya know. So he brought me to a motel. I don’t even remember what motel it was. He talked his big talk. Saying he had a friend named pinky, or whatever that would take care of things…in other words if i made any trouble. I honestly was just trying… actually I don’t even know… trying to survive it i guess. He paid for a week for me. I took care of him and off he went. Telling me i had a week to figure it out.

So i started doing the only thing i knew to do. I started with the catholic diocese. Thats where my mom had worked for almost 20 years where i was raised. So that’s where i started. That and the shelters…where i ended up not finding much luck in anything i tried. I had papers full of phone numbers…but not much help at all. I didn’t know what i was going to do.

Of course he had through a few times, i think once during the night time. Checking on my progress and to have some fun in between. Of course i was just being me, the submissive that i am. Innocent in everything. Innocent in the game of it all.

At the end of the week, we got together and talked about my situation. Which of course i didn’t have much news to report. I came to realize without a child. There wasn’t much help around.

So he thought about it, and put me up at woodspring suites on I35 in northeast san Antonio. I stayed for a month there. When i first got there, while i was on my knees in the floor.. talking..and sucking…i can remember him saying something about…what is it thats your fortei? What would put you out above everyone else? ….he was talking about me working…in other words,what would be my brand, even though i didn’t realize that’s what he was talking about. I guess my fortei was giving head. Something i did enjoy doing. Something my First Master made sure that i knew well.


You need to know the training from my First Master, that has been ingrained in me. Its the only way i knew life. And honestly speaking, its only way and the best way to “work with me” for lack of better words. The BDSM lifestyle…its the only way that i respond. Thats the best way that I’ll respond.
….its really the only i will respond…is the way of the bdsm lifestyle… anyways….

Thats when he introduced me to hell…Moco Space…i had no idea about it. He told me to watch the chat room and pretty much learn how things went from watching and do what i learned by watching. Gawd i had no clue about any of it. I was so freaking green…. TRUSTING….NAIVE…AND YES…. GULLIBLE!!!!!

…..of from there….off to the races …….

Now that I’m away from the scene and can finally speak very honestly… absolutely nothing could have ever prepared me for what i was about to deal with. At that point, i wasn’t quite sure what i had envisioned on the way things would go, but i can tell you this much, i sure wasn’t prepared to be dealing with the most horrible vile disgusting ways that a man can treat a woman. I was so damn green about this whole “shin dig” ways of how any of this stuff goes. I can tell you that back when i worked for that whole 8 months of my life over 20 something years ago it was so totally different.

Going through my second divorce, i had met my best friend of 22yrs (until i lost her friendship over this job) she was dating my ex’s co worker. the four of us had dinner together one night right before the split happened. Her and i hit it right off then, even though my ex didn’t want me to hang out with her because of what she did…hell i didn’t care, i thought she was cool to hang with. Back then she worked for an agency. It was on my 25th birthday i had done my first call. Back then it was still pagers and pay phones. And we did out calls. But there was no such thing as all these acronyms and shit…as she put it, we just didn’t bring any men home…and that was just the rule of thumb. As far as screening was concerned, the woman that did the phones was supposed to do the screening….and yes id like to continue to think that even though i know better now.

At night we stayed at the blues club having fun and dancing, and when the pager went off, we’d be off doing our thang… having fun wearing them out lol… Now grant it, there was shit we put up with. Her more so than me. But still NOT ANYTHING EVER LIKE WHAT IS DONE THESE DAYS. Screening…we went by our guts. ..

Anyways….not anyone even the most experienced of Providers….so i had done my first call i think it was either the 3rd or 4th day after being introduced to this freaking insanely crazy ass site, Moco Space. I was TOTALLY FLOORED about how things were so blantly talked about, i could not freaking believe that shit. That was so wild to me lol

Five days into Moco Space….that morning i woke up and logged on, i had a message on there, “i know that facebook face.” It freaked me out. So i answered back…”who the fuck is this?!”

What i got back in return was “Hi mom!” My son was 15 at the time. In that instant a chill came over me that i couldn’t shake. It was almost as though I could hear him in my ear, with his voice cracking and all. And i knew what i had just gone through. The fear that went through my body with that chill. The fear that came over me the day i got back from the hospital the first time i went in with my total break down after he left, as i sat on my living room floor finding all the things that he had been putting away and hidin, under the couch cushions, and in little bitty areas you wouldn’t think to find. He had been putting away things, packing it all up. And as i sat on my living room floor and cried that wondering why he kept me alive and left, wondering if he had kept me alive just to have it worse in the end. I’ll never know…but in that split second of seeing the words “Hi mom” all of that came back and made me freeze in cold fear.

The only thing that came out to message back was “what the living fyck are you doing on here?!!???!”

I mean by God, as open as things were on Moco Space, there’s one of two reasons…or both that any one person would be on there, dope and/or women…and i had no idea that Moco was pretty much considered to be the lowest of low places that any girl could work from.

When i looked at his profile, it was under a 47 year old man and the profile was made around the time that he had left. So it kinda all added up. And he knew that i had moved to san Antonio. And supposively he had gotten a pic or something of me that i had given to someone, don’t even know if it was him or not…but whoever it was, if it was really him or someone acting like it was my son, put me through hell with blackmailing me…and for a week i had to deal with a this turnoil and freaking out every time my phone went off…and whoever it was couldn’t figure out what they wanted me to do as far as the blackmailing was concerned. And no i just refuse to get into all of that part. It was the most disgusting things that any one person could think of…..

…..well in between that, the girl i had came down here with was extorting me for $900 for some gun that ended up missing through out all my shit being stolen. She had told me that her dad bought her the gun. Come to find out by her dad, that he couldn’t get no gun, he had spent time, so there was no way he could’ve signed for any gun… Now this girl, whom i had called my daughter, was lying to me, had gotten $700 out of the $900 she was extorting me for…and as it seems…. had set me up from get go about all my shit just up and disappearing into thin air. And she was the only person that knew the situation about what happened with my son. So who knows, it could’ve been her acting like my son doing the blackmailing. ….

…..ALSO in between all of that stress…. some freaking dude with fucking shit brains for smarts had actually took off with my fucking top dentures. … God, i swear to y’all i can’t make this kind of shit up. I swear, there’s no way i can make this kind of shit up, i don’t think on these kinds of terms lol

Change

Tuesday, November 17, 2020
1:43 PM

I will not be held down
I will not be a coward
I will not cower down
I will not be afraid
I will not enable
I will not allow you to take my life it’s not yours to take

Change my environment my associates my coworkers my customers


Change the way I’m bullied
I’m not going to be bullied anymore

I’m going to stand up on my own two feet
I’m going to stand my own ground
I’m going to make my own decisions what’s best for me
I’m going to face my enemies and my demons as I was told by the demons themselves

How Ironic was that??!!!

I was told to face my demons by the demons themselves
when I told them they were all my demons and that I was facing them they didn’t fucking like it and flipped me off lol

I will not be weak for I am not weak

I will show the backbone that I’ve had for years that’s been made in my strength

Change

Change not accept the kind of unworthy treatment I’ve been given while given the treatment of royalty and worthiness

The same ones that told me I was crazy and that I was on dope when I’m straight and clean are the same ones that are fucking crazy and on dope themselves

REMEMBER THIS
I AM AN EMPATH
WHAT YOU SEE IN ME
THAT YOU SEEM TO HATE SO MUCH
IS ONLY ME REFLECTING YOUR MIRROR IMAGES OF YOU OFF OF ME

SO REMEMBER YOU DON’T HATE ME WHAT YOU HATE IS WHAT YOU SEE THAT I REFLECT

SO SO IN THE END YOU ONLY HATE YOURSELVES BECAUSE I REFLECT YOU OFF OF ME

AND GET THIS AND GET HOW POWERFUL THIS FUCKING IS

THE BLACK MAGIC THAT YOU HAVE DONE AND PUT ON ME BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU HATED WHEN YOU LOOKED AT ME YOU ONLY PUT UPON YOUR OWN SELVES IN THE END

BECAUSE WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU SAW AS ME WAS NOT ME YOU SAW IT WAS THE VERY MIRROR IMAGE OF YOU REFLECTED OFF OF ME YOU SAW AND HATED

SO EVERY FUCKING THING YOU HAVE ACCUSED ME AND TOLD ME AND THOUGHT I WAS TO BE AND TOLD ME TO GO FIX IT AND TO FACE MY DEMONS YOU WERE ONLY TELLING YOUR OWN FUCKING SELVES THE DEMONS ITSELF TO FACE THE DEMONS IN YOUR OWN SELF

IT’S CALLED THE MIRRORING EFFECT DONE AN EMPATH GIVES OFF REMEMBER ANYTHING YOU SEE YOU HATE IN ME IS ONLY YOURSELF THAT YOU SEE AND HATE HOW POWERFUL YOU THOUGHT YOUR BLACK SPELLS WERE UPON ME YOU ONLY FUCKING PUT ON YOUR FUCKING SELVES WITHIN YOUR OWN FUCKING POWER


THE MOST FUCKING POWERFUL THING OF ALL


ENJOY LIVING THE HELL YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE PUTTING ME IN THAT YOU MADE YOUR OWN SELVES TO BE IN NOT REALIZING THAT I WAS REFLECTING YOU THE DEMONS ITSELF YOU WERE MAKING YOUR OWN HELLS TO LIVE IN SO ALL THE PROMISES OF THE DEMON AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF THAT HE HAS PROMISED YOU WILL COME TO BE IF YOU STOLE YOUR SOUL TO THE DEMON AND THE DEVIL ITSELF YOU WERE ONLY PROMISED THE HELL THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE PUTTING ME IN

HELLO WELCOME TO YOUR OWN HELL


Why should I be afraid of something that is not me and well I know I have no part of

Being I’ve never sold my soul to the devil himself you have not me these are not my sins to bear and the fucking pay for they are yours and yours alone that I will not own.

The demons told me to face my demons so let’s face my demons

Remember now I’m only doing what you told me to do and I’m taking your advice that you gave to me

All I’m going to say is this

You must’ve thought you were charlie daniels
Playing that fiddle of gold
When you made that bet that you’re going to regret against your soul

Show em how it’s done Charlie!!?

Tuesday, November 17, 2020
9:48 AM

I’ve been harassed on or from or by and the kinds of harassment

Adult look
Texting work phone, real phone, motel phone
Calling work phone real phones motel phones
Banging on my door at all hours of the day and night
Kick bombing
Email bombing
Screening form bombing

Demonic harassment has been in forms of screening form by email phone number adding up the numbers and everything in reference to 666/8 and 9s because eights are seen as an upside down six and a right side six infinity going 666

I been harassed in secret messages in my spam comments about being kidnapped

I’ve had death threats in the forms of electronic with Groupon with a gun A gun being the last thing that was viewed


My shower head turned upside down in a noose

Maintenance people broke into my home to do these things moving things around writing music notes on my closet doors, putting black smudge on my makeup containers or inside my toilet, or a black dot on my bathtub breaking my altar items moving my ultra items breaking my stones that I had

Telepathic and subliminal dreams and visions of someone killing me, of a perfectly enclosed clasped collar which I knew wasn’t mine because I always envisioned the person actually putting the collar on me, telepathic dreams of enjoying pedophilia which is something that I would never think of or dream or enjoy dreaming of for that matter. So again I knew that wasn’t my stuff and I had to do anything to do with me at all

It started as a dry spot on my neck that disappeared but ended up on my eyelid that dried was so dry that it pulled my eyelid was an eczema wasn’t stress related it wasn’t nothing on I tried all the different creams the only thing that could be that could relieve it was Vaseline it started from A small dry spot on the island to be huge huge puffy blisters all over my face I was being burned.

I was being burned from the inside out of my skin not outside my skin in I would end up with blisters on worse than being then degree burns I mean these were bad. And then afterward year and a half almost well yeah about a year and a half just ends up disappearing all of a sudden my face is clear as a bell now and I can use my moisturizer creams and facial face washes and stuff

I also all of a sudden with no reason at all would start seeing nats, nothing in my house would be there would be no reason why I would seen that but all of a sudden there would be gnats all right by me and then it started to be roaches roaches would be on my shoulder right behind my ear on top of my bed behind me the headboard. Seem to stay between the bathroom and my bedroom or where I slept on the couch or whatever.

I would get emails from my friends that did not send them or are threatening phone text messages from friends that swear up and down did not send them.

My computer and phones have been hijacked placing Google hijacking Google and putting spells into Google when I looked up my name or videos with my name in it with the words of being kidnapped and them


Noise harassment includes every morning at 5:00 in the right hand corner of my bedroom a drill in that corner every fucking morning being drilled at the opposite end of you know to where I could see the corner laying down at 5:00 on the dot every morning drilling a drill would be used every morning like clockwork well what is clockwork actually


Here lately every time I when I went to leave InTown suites and I went to Culebra motel I got to contact form email needing to be seen right now only in town for that night

I left that motel as soon as I got into the left to go to InTown suites to go pack up my stuff I got another screening form with no screening fee turned around and got a confirmation email in my protonmail account. NO ONE KNEW I HAD MY PROTON MAIL BACK NO ONE AND THAT’S NOT IN MY DIRECTIONS

AND IT WAS PERFECTLY TIMED TO

Lately my rooms have been in the corner and either the tub overflows because it stopped up or I have some kind of noise like the AC is extremely fucking loud like the room I’m in now.


This is just starting with a small list of just the things that I go through and have gone through that no one knows about. This isn’t the start of it.


Three different times I found items underneath my bed to insinuate a black magic spell being used on me.

The last client out of the blue that I saw at Budget suites put a USB charger underneath my bed when I went to go get his washcloth.


The next morning waking up and walking out the door to find someone right by my front door on the phone talking loudly and then following me into the office as well as another person locking up into the office by behind me Bree is so close to me I can feel the breath on my neck from him, then 2 hours later walking to the dumpster and seeing somebody in a car right behind the dumpster like waiting for me and then when I was walking back him coming up to me in his vehicle and actually calling my name out rogue when are you going to let me see you and I’m like who the fuck are you and he says well I’ve actually talked to you twice but never gave me a name.

I’ve had a person while walking across the street in a crowd behind me to go to the store somebody going I’m right behind you after being stalked at my door for a month remember the panty incidents money still in my panties.

That was personal items being stolen to use for black magic sex magic more specifically

Also I’ve had two friends ask me to buy my used dildos for the purpose of black sex magic

And now one supposed friend has all of my toys and was offering to buy them for $1,000 $2,000 now he has them for free along with the rest of my items up wherever he’s fucking at swears up and down he went to jail I don’t know the story but you see where I’m going with this one and how it looks.

People have acted like they were helping me putting me in spots I should not have been in leaving me in areas that were very dangerous and then like I tried to twice return the favor if you know what I mean never hearing from him again.

Women providers acting like men paying $50 for lifetime memberships

People buying content over and over again the same exact packages under evaluation of their name only to find out they did data breaches and would go into my account with having finding logs of doing 150 different activity events.

Would by the exact same content packages of $10 just to get me out to the store only to find as I looked back the same person that was on the phone right by my doorsteps talking loudly going near my my front door knowing that I was locked in and having to leave it unlocked to leave

Someone buying content to turn around and do a data breach buying content just to get a link to get the opening of getting into my account and doing over 150 activity events when I got the log, and he had been on my Facebook and my Twitter and everywhere else realizing later

People stalking me with very demonic satanic names or associations to demonic satanic names like Saturn or goats or something like that


This is ONLY THE beginning

Sunday, November 15, 2020
11:21 AM

PSA


Due to figuring out lifetime members were actually women, due to the fact that I figured out quite a number of names dealing with one person and figuring out each of these people, due to figuring out that I have been stalked from day one, due to all the emails that are fake emails names that are fake names. Due to every one of them being on Twitter

Figuring out that these same people have been buying content and turning around and getting into my account therefore doing data breaches, and also buying content knowing that I’m broke so that I can go to the store and then break into my place while I’ve gone to the store so they can plant things and make it look like I was going crazy, due to many number of these people figuring it out by their cash app because they’re changing their cash app names, and I get notifications when I get a cash app and matching these up from what’s on my cash out to my notifications as well as matching it up to what I have as far as like the invite for $5 on my cash app.

Due to purposely sending emails just to see if I would answer an email on another email that someone should be knowing about or emailing me on.

I don’t know how to approach a situation but I will tell everybody if you want to see me you better be on the up and up, looking odd doing something odd doing something that I know or I feel in my gut is off having an off name not showing your ID which doesn’t even work in my book because I know about the fake ID situation as well. If anything is freaking off or you make a move that is not anything to do with my specific instructions in my website I will look at you as one of them.

Sending me $25 just to get me to the store to get me out of my home so things can be planted or when I was asleep and yes maintenance was involved in the other place as well….

Controlling my financial situation just to get me in and out of the house or whatever I am aware of all these tactics now



NOT ONE PERSON DESERVES TO FEEL LIKE THEY’RE HAVING TO RUN FOR THEIR LIFE, NOT ONE PERSON DESERVES TO BE SCARED FOR THEIR LIVES, NOT ONE PERSON DESERVES THE KIND OF HARASSMENT THAT’S BEEN GOING ON, NO ONE DESERVES TO HAVE SOMEONE WALK INTO THEIR HOME AFTER YOU INVITE THEM IN MESSING WITH THEIR THINGS, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE PUT IN THIS KIND OF DANGER THAT I HAVE BEEN PUT INVOLVED IN.


This has been what’s happened providers are involved I’m not mentioning any names I’m not a rat but what I am doing is I’m bringing awareness because they’ve taken my life. and right now not only have they discredited me taking my life away from me but now I’m having to live my life on the run and this isn’t right I didn’t do anything I know I didn’t do anything and whatever anybody may think I am not crazy I’m not a ride I’m not anything that a lot of people or these people that have made themselves out to look like it’s several people which it is a group of people but not as many as I thought or as what was made to look like a whole lot of group of people


but I still have to survive, I still have to eat I still have these bills to pay I still have to live I don’t know how to go about that yet but I do know that I’m tired I’m tired of fighting with these fuckers and I’m tired of these people winning. Or thinking that they have won

Saturday, November 14, 2020
6:23 PM

I don’t know how to start this nor do I know where to begin, as the damage is more than long done. Many of you have befriended me, been my lovers and I’ve even fell in love with those that felt different, thought different, had your opinions and had ulterior motives. Quite a number of those from day one actually. Well coming to the realizations that I have I’m not surprised with some, and very surprised at others, and very hurt but the rest. I’ve looked up to quite a number of you valued you and felt very highly about you, well in turn not the same about me.

The amount of years that’s gone by the amount of shaming, flaming, defacing that has been done ultimately stripping away my pride, dehumanizing and desensitizing me. Among all the other things that’s been done.

Those of you who feel hatred and whatever about me I’m not here to change your opinions they’re your opinions. When I’m here to state is whatever names you call me whatever you feel about me…. Very honestly my heart has always been in the right place whatever you feel that I may have done or didn’t do whatever it may be I never realized it.

I literally tried my best to give what was expected wanted and desired within my best capabilities and means. There’s been so much expectations pressure and stress physically mentally emotionally as well as legally and things that I cannot possibly give to you. I have gone up and above beyond my way to give all of you as much security as I could paying the extra money to do so. Every time I have tried I’ve been shot down every time I tried to give more, more was taken.

Well I never even expected to be doing what I’ve been doing and never for this amount of time. I’ve invested my whole self my whole being and everything into this to try to give to try to make happy to try to satisfy, to everyone’s content, too many of you I have failed in this sense.

I’ve invested more than 10 grand into that website that’s a big down payment on house I could have had. There’s so many legalities that prevent me from actually doing the things that you expect from me or want me or think that I can possibly do. I’ve done what I can do within the legalities as well as my abilities.

I’m sorry that I have disappointed many of you. I am sure you it’s never been intentional. I’m sorry that some of you feel like I have meant to go out and corn any of you in any kind of way, yet again I will say it’s never been intentional.

The only things that I’ve wanted very honestly is to be treated with dignity and respect and common courtesy and literally not to be hurt anymore. And well I never understand I probably never will understand I wish to God many of you would have came to me and just talk to me. Giving me that chance to explain yourself to me so I can better understand and correct whatever wrongdoings I was doing at that time that you felt that I was doing, instead of going out of your way to trick me with different names and numbers and whatever else we’re not going there it’s neither here nor there at this point.

And well I wish to God those of you who feel these ways wouldve just let it all go. I intend on doing that same thing, now that I’m aware and that I know. that means I can protect myself better and that’s all I ever wanted was to be safe and not be harmed.

To anyone that’s reading this that does not know the situation that’s fine and dandy, just know that when I asked for your ID and I ask who you are and I may be a little suspicious it’s only because of the things that I have experienced throughout these right at 4 years now. I don’t mean no harm I don’t mean no disrespect and I don’t mean no kind of ill wishes on anyone. Because I only want to be safe as well as keep you safe.

I so much in mind that I have always wanted to do for all of you because no matter what I always think about different things that we make the public happy and I’ve tried to do a lot of them as well as I still haven’t done so much that I want to do for y’all. So many cool ideas that I wish I could get out there and start to do for everybody.

I don’t like these labels I don’t like the expectations that comes with these labels. I never promised You a fantasy or Rose garden what a promise was real that I was going to be me and then I would give you the best to my ability. That wasn’t THE best, just my best. I should have reserved a lot for my own self but I gave and I gave and again I’ve gave my heart my most intimate thoughts and feelings life I gave it all. I’ve tried my best.

So with this I will leave and let it be said for whomever seems to want to give me a chance I’m around love that I’m very cautious skittish and scared. but I’m always willing to try to give more.q

I just asked for the same dignity and respect common courtesy and security that I give to everyone of you. I asked for my things not to be messed with and I ask you not to lie. If you don’t like me or hate me then just please stay on your side and I’ll do the same. Please don’t be friend me and act like you’re caring for me when in all actuality you are my enemy.

Much love to all no matter who you are or how you feel or what’s been done
MsRogue

Thursday, November 12, 2020
9:53 AM

I don’t care what anybody thinks of says I’m not running anybody’s life I’m saving my fucking life. This shit is so much and so fast because they have been in every part of my life running my life they have been on Kik all my accounts my emails my phone numbers everywhere telegram you name it they have been a part of running my life it’s taken 3 years and they have been doing it for 3 fucking years everything

Thesepeople are nothing but bullies and they’ve been bullying my life and it’s goddamn hard time I stand up to every one of these fucking bullies. They have gotten into my computer my phone they have come into my home they threaten me by electronic harassment all kinds of stuff these people are not fucking the good people these people have been bullying me and I’m going to show it and they’re in every part of my fucking shit every part and it’s hard to catch one but I got it now

Wednesday, November 11, 2020
10:09 PM

I mean like there’s things I can’t figure out like right before I had to move out that apartment there’s only one person that knew that I had gotten me a new belly ring and when I was on the phone with a guy I’ve been seeing he had me so upset and everything I went and got a rose and bought me a plastic Rose or whatever and then I got a new belly ring it was $5 like a head I’m going to sleep that’s the thing like I would read something or when I had told Facebook my family about what’s been going on I would all of a sudden just get sleepy and crash like I couldn’t stay up at all like it was almost like if I said a certain word that it was kind of hypnotic out like I would pass completely out like you would knock me the fuck out okay I woke up I was on my couch and I woke up and there my belly ring was only fucking four my belly ring does not come out ever ever in years matter of fact when I bought it in June the new one that was the first time in life 6 years my belly ring was taking out at all so there was no way I mean like how did it end up in my on my floor who and I would have never taken it off of me I mean like those things are very weird.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020
9:21 PM

Anytime you get food near you it’s like I swear it reminds me of Pauly shore in that movie about the caveman that’s what it reminds me of. I mean I try my best to be elegant about my eating still what have you at least human but I guess when you’re not treated like a human you forget how to be honestly I find myself not really thinking about it utensils I just think about getting it down my throat so quickly cuz I’m not home survivor my home survivor show all by myself keeping you with the day-to-day of everyday in life regular normal things I guess because I don’t seem to know how to function anymore in the world everybody passes this off so lightly and then wonders why I’m not like I used to be in dude perfect it really does picking on me and making fun of me and whatever but it’s like y’all didn’t listen or you know in the ones that didn’t I’ve come to figure out they were a part of it I mean I don’t know how to explain trying not to be an animal when that’s all that I’ve been treated and you know y’all may not like what I say y’all may not accept it or whatever but you know what this is not I can accept this I can’t I finding out in Real Life coming to the realization of all these different things when you look back and you go wait a minute I had that $20 that ended up missing out of the fucking blue that I had just counted from my rent turned around walked outside or something for a half a second turn right back around came in to my wallet because I forgot the money and it was nothing and it’s like how did that happen where did it go I mean he couldn’t have been there but I guess it did somebody’s hand more specifically.


I’m documenting all this and feelings and emotions what I go through and and I don’t know if any of y’all remember I’ve mentioned so many times I felt like I was an experiment. Oh my God any bland fucking mac and cheese I don’t have no salt and pepper and you know I’m Cajun I don’t have no tummy seasoning which is what I live off of oh my God but you know what I’m so fucking hungry I think I would eat just like I said I know I’ve been an experiment and I’ve been making a full in front of the whole wide world to see and everybody keeps saying I’m crazy I’m not I’m just treated like worse than a lab rat.

It didn’t take a week and a half for the harassment to start all over again passing by and knocking on my window knocking on my door now talking and I’m in the cubby hole I’m in a corner it’s been quite quiet all of a sudden like I said it comes in spurts and waves and I knew it was going to start all over again I’ve done nothing but spend money previously and everything that read I’ve gone through exactly all of them it’s the most slowest worst death you can ever imagine is what I feel like I’m going through I mean why continue working on anything it’s continually fucking sabotaged so why when you these people continually fuck shut up on purpose just to fuck it up just to make you go around and circles and that’s what I’ve been doing I’ve been this free slave labor for all from nothing just to run in circles talk about the human type the humanizing you and strengthen you of every bit of your humanity is a what I feel it’s definitely what I feel it’s what’s been done actually just nobody really actually chose to see it but I have to live it I need to I’m forced to live this way cuz this is never the way I’ve lived I’ve come through struggling times I’ve never been dehumanized in such ways I can’t begin to describe what it feels like to not even be human I mean I can’t wash clothes I can’t I go six seven days hungry. And everything I say is used against me is exploited I’m punished for it in ways that it’s so on the low-key like they do it just like described to where they don’t get in trouble and I can’t ever prove it it’s so horrible nobody has ever I mean like wasted you wouldn’t even think about like this motherfuckers did and deep in your fucking life and they just all at one time take these claws after digging in your life and every fucking part of it and they just go yank and rip it slowly with a full fucking knife and just tear it all the pieces. I mean like they force you and make you give up you’re getting punished because you’re fighting it and that’s what I’ve been doing you know they want me to lay down so they can kill me they want me to.


Damn my God like I only take time to chew my food anymore I just I found myself just now swallowing it home I’m only eating mac and cheese blend at that but I just realized that I was swallowing everything and it wasn’t even taking time to chew it that’s what hunger does to you being left out like this and yes I’m documenting money fucking does and the breakdown of the body and the mind and what’s going on because I I’m forced into dementia actually because I cannot express myself anywhere without it being used against me I know I have my right mind but every time I talk about a man exploited or punished I know it’s going on and nobody wants to admit it nobody is going to a minute it doesn’t even matter I know I fucking know what’s going on and in a way that’s comforting and in a lot of other ways that’s the last fucking nail in the coffin right it’s like do you want to find out and when you do my God this is something I have to handle a lot in my life I’ve had to swallow so much in my life I’m having to swallow people purposely directing your life into a downward spiral of losing it all when you know you should not even be even close to that all I can show is a picture of me crying cuz there’s no words

God someone sent me $25 to you and if it wasn’t for these people I would be dead by now. I have to say it humbles you so much. I was able to get a chocolate covered cherry I don’t remember the way I had any to be quite honest with you it seems like it’s 30 million years ago just so many changes and so much fucking shit I’m going through I can’t even repeat I’m really feel like I’m a dementia I really just want to get out of this I got to pray on my knees so much I don’t deserve this no more no one does

The late I haven’t been treated special in so long a chocolate covered cherries made me feel weird strange uncomfortable I’ll be my friend recognize that I used to chocolate covered cherries as a special little treat for me but it is slight my brain pick that up but couldn’t compute it couldn’t recognize the taste too with the signals in my brain was saying that I used to it’s really weird like your body breaks down how it all happened. So fucked up

Like everybody says get off the dope, I’m not on the dope. like that’s such an excuse and bullshit because even if I had been doing no I can’t afford it I don’t see anybody to get it what the fuck those are the kind of people that want to ignore the actual what’s in your fucking face kind of thing it’s plain as day how my body and my mind is breaking down you know and it’s and I don’t want to say mind as far as breaking down as a 4th month stability but I what I’m saying is it’s obvious that something else is going on then dope or I’m crazy because it’s not bad all these conditions I have they’re very humane inhumane excuse me very inhumane bad conditions even though when you come into my home from what home it really is it doesn’t feel like home I don’t let anybody see this it’s embarrassing humiliating and I tried to not to say anything but I mean it’s the only way I have to express and get it out of me and people are trying to quiet my voice and that drives you even more crazy so I won’t allow myself to get like that they got me to where I stutter and I can’t type anymore that’s why I have to dictate everything I can’t type anymore because all of this so I quickly put my thoughts down cuz I can’t type it out anymore and I used to type 90 words a minute not anymore. Smh

I I hope there’s no blacks or Mexicans that are living this way. I hope that no other culture no other person is living this way I hope that this isn’t in vain that might happen to live like this can do good for somebody else whether it’s picking up on the signs of stalking or whatever it may be I hope to God this situation turns out to be a positive thing out of this cuz I cannot deal with my life just living like this and it not going for some kind of good reason I mean we all have to have a purpose in life right and if mine is too give my life up so somebody else can have a better life than okay but I can’t deal with the fact my life would be worthless and no reason is that I die for nothing and all my fight and everything it just can’t handle that very much

In Retrospect: Through A Whore’s Eyes

Monday, December 14, 2020
2:39 PM

For any woman who is going through tough times,

With being in covid-19 times now

Having the thoughts of “il do it for a little while”

DON’T DO IT

You learn quick a man’s transformation. Its instantaneous, the change in eyes…not even known to them.

In the World, The Stigma Once A Whore sticks…
Programs like Swop fight for a whores rights but here’s what i have learned

To be a whore, you can’t call to any Christian Spiritually, i personally had been mocked as Mary Magdalene…Jesus’ whore wife, being crowned like Jesus as King of Nazareth. The crowned of the best and legendary. Just like Jesus i was made an example out oc in front of God and all.

Looking back the significance of the events ive gone through. The mocking the ridicule acter years of trying to fight it i can tell the hard headedness of tge hard of the hardness i have been…you can thsg fight like i have

THIS I WILL TELL YOU ARE FORCED TO SUCCUMB TO THE PITA OF TGE HELL YOU WALKED INTO

Tbe transformation in a man, its unknown change. The primal in the male species. Their eyes change, the pupils get smaller as their eyes narrow down.

For a woman we instantly learn to value and worth in our bodies. Your whole life changes, even afterwards.

The man transforms from respect of a woman to instant hatred.

In a man’s eye, paying with money…he thens owns you. He becomes rough and fucks you so hard that leaves you doubled over in pain. The feelings of disgrace and the humiliation behind the acts taken place.

A woman learns quick to value her body and to keep her worth. Its turns into being the most sacred of everything witb all being stripped away. The only thing your left is grasping tight and fighting for your self worth. And you’ll fight to the death to keep your self worth.

Thinking your gonna get out, think again. By the instant change in male species, theyll kerp in the hell, stealing from you, not paying you, keeping you down …just to call you a whore… keeping you a whore to call you a whore.


Having an exit strategy. If you can…but that to…it seems non existent.

Whatever that is gained while in this life, cause you out, you end up letting a go just to get out. .

If you find you come to being a whore with onky the clothes, youll leave with less!

The support from friends and/or family who supported you through out…youll find that they tol without ever realizing the chamge that happ6 within you inside ..nor do they realize nor can comphrend the transformation that happened upon hearing you become a whore

You may walk into this world as a proud slut you will leave as a disgrace worthless whore

Believe me when i say you can fught the hardest fight to grasp everything you find yourself losing. You wi be stripped of everything …. DESENSITIZED AND DEHUMIZED.


The changes you don’t realize whats going on why its happening why such vile mannerisms you face.

Your pride, your grace you had before, respect, your memories of life before becoming a whore…no longer exist, your stripped of all identity of ever having any life before before being a whore.

All every aspect of mind body and soul emotions memories you try to hold on to, slip away suddenly feeling as if you have an early set dementia

Your whole self is stripped and taken away from you and your life.

And even tbe last tbing you to hold to uf your is your iwn self worth and value…anf choosing the lesser of a the viles..

That to is stripped from you…stuck wearing that scalet letter of “W” the rest of your life.

So any woman who tbinks like i did, just a fww mths yo get on my feet…four years at that whippo6 pole later…out of a the rsgrets in my life…this message i have for a women

If you want any and all that is sacred to you and chouce this world i warn you, i wish i had known now.

This world tbe most respectable of men you may Know…once the foot is entered into this world…they change they dont even know tge change thst took place and you csbt ecer explsin it will never be understood or grasped.

Out of all my hardest lessons.in my life ..its too lste for me i now wear the scalet letter the choice left is forcibg myself to pretend to be a proud whore for the rest of my life.


I was the innocent of innocence coming into this i was i had ax experienced whore to write these words i write now to make sure you aware of you are making before you make it.


Written by …i dont knoe ..i dont hsve an identity…i dont want to claim my whore anymore…and my identity been stolen ro much…so i dint even know to sign thjs as

Ps maybe im just the example made out of itAnd it mught not be so bad fof you
But know this im know this

I wasnt the first and i wint be the last

This “code” men carry its an all known code they have. Never spoken, it just is.

I have seen it, one after one after one… All of them coming to my rescue and saying “I’ll help you”, all of them with a glimmer and spark in their eyes.. all if them hiding the devil, the demons inside.

They say “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” But what of those that are “soul LESS?” That glimmer and spark that is seen and can get any and all woman’s heart to beating to that loyalty and dedication beat, it’s just the flicker of the hell fire that’s really inside.

I can’t help to come to really believe that men are really the devil’s children. And I refuse to apologize for these words I speak.

One by one, two by two even men that are not known to each other keep to that “code of men”

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